he following dialogue,
opened by the doctor, took place.

"Burn?"

"Bruise."

"Poultice."

The next day the woman called, and the dialogue was as follows:

"Better?"

"Worse."

"More poultice."

Two days later the woman made another call.

"Better?"

"Well. Fee?"

"Nothing. Most sensible woman I ever saw."

BRIBERY

A judge, disgusted with a jury that seemed unable to reach an agreement
in a perfectly evident case, rose and said, "I discharge this jury."

One sensitive talesman, indignant at what he considered a rebuke,
obstinately faced the judge.

"You can't discharge me," he said in tones of one standing upon his
rights.

"And why not?" asked the surprised judge.

"Because," announced the juror, pointing to the lawyer for the defense,
"I'm being hired by that man there!"

BRIDES

"My dear," said the young husband as he took the bottle of milk from the
dumb-waiter and held it up to the light, "have you noticed that there's
never cream on this milk?"

"I spoke to the milkman about it," she replied, "and he explained that
the company always fill their bottles so full that there's no room for
cream on top."

"Do you think only of me?" murmured the bride. "Tell me that you think
only of me."

"It's this way," explained the groom gently. "Now and then I have to
think of the furnace, my dear."

BRIDGE WHIST

"How about the sermon?"

"The minister preached on the sinfulness of cheating at bridge."

"You don't say! Did he mention any names?"

BROOKLYN

At the Brooklyn Bridge.--"Madam, do you want to go to Brooklyn?"

"No, I have to."--_Life_.

BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS

Some time after the presidential election of 1908, one of Champ Clark's
friends noticed that he still wore one of the Bryan watch fobs so
popular during the election. On being asked the reason for this, Champ
replied: "Oh, that's to keep my watch running."

BUILDINGS

Pat had gone back home to Ireland and was telling about New York.

"Have they such tall buildings in America as they say, Pat?" asked the
parish priest.

"Tall buildings ye ask, sur?" replied Pat. "Faith, sur, the last one I
worked on we had to lay on our stomachs to let the moon pass."

BURGLARS

A burglar was one night engaged in the pleasing occupation of stowing a
good haul of swag in his bag when he was startled by a touch on the
shoulder, and, turning his head, he beheld a venerabl