hnny promptly.

"Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher.

"No, ma'am, I know it ain't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."

BUSINESS WOMEN

Wanted--A housekeeping man by a business woman. Object matrimony.

CAMPAIGNS

_See_ Candidates; Public speakers.

CAMPING

Camp life is just one canned thing after another.

CANDIDATES

"When I first decided to allow the people of Tupelo to use my name as a
candidate for Congress, I went out to a neighboring parish to speak,"
said Private John Allen recently to some friends at the old Metropolitan
Hotel in Washington.

"An old darky came up to greet me after the meeting. 'Marse Allen,' he
said, 'I's powerful glad to see you. I's known ob you sense you was a
babby. Knew yoh pappy long befo' you-all wuz bohn, too. He used to hold
de same office you got now. I 'members how he held dat same office fo'
years an' years.'

"'What office do you mean, uncle?' I asked, as I never knew pop held any
office.

"'Why, de office ob candidate, Marse John; yoh pappy was candidate fo'
many years.'"

A good story is told on the later Senator Vance. He was traveling down
in North Carolina, when he met an old darky one Sunday morning. He had
known the old man for many years, so he took the liberty of inquiring
where he was going.

"I am, sah, pedestrianin' my appointed way to de tabernacle of de
Lord."

"Are you an Episcopalian?" inquired Vance.

"No, sah, I can't say dat I am an Epispokapillian."

"Maybe you are a Baptist?"

"No, sah, I can't say dat I's ever been buried wid de Lord in de waters
of baptism."

"Oh, I see you are a Methodist."

"No, sah, I can't say dat I's one of dose who hold to argyments of de
faith of de Medodists."

"What are you, then, uncle?"

"I's a Presbyterian, Marse Zeb, just de same as you is."

"Oh nonsense, uncle, you don't mean to say that you subscribe to all the
articles of the Presbyterian faith?"

"'Deed I do sah."

"Do you believe in the doctrine of election to be saved?"

"Yas, sah, I b'lieve in the doctrine of 'lection most firmly and
un'quivactin'ly."

"Well then tell me do you believe that I am elected to be saved?"

The old darky hesitated. There was undoubtedly a terrific struggle going
on in his mind between his veracity and his desire to be polite to the
Senator. Finally he compromised by saying:

"Well, I'll tell you how it is, Marse Zeb. You see I's never heard of
anybody b