God."
"N-n-o, not quite. But he's a young man yet."

Is it possible your pragmatical worship should not know that the
comparisons made between wit and wit, courage and courage, beauty and
beauty, birth and birth, are always odious and ill taken?--_Cervantes_.

COMPENSATION

"Speakin' of de law of compensation," said Uncle Eben, "an automobile
goes faster dan a mule, but at de same time it hits harder and balks
longer."

COMPETITION

A new baby arrived at a house. A little girl--now fifteen--had been the
pet of the family. Every one made much of her, but when there was a new
baby she felt rather neglected.

"How are you, Mary?" a visitor asked of her one afternoon.

"Oh, I'm all right," she said, "except that I think there is too much
competition in this world."

A farmer during a long-continued drought invented a machine for watering
his fields. The very first day while he was trying it there suddenly
came a downpour of rain. He put away his machine.

"It's no use," he said; "you can do nothing nowadays without
competition."

COMPLIMENTS

Supper was in progress, and the father was telling about a row which
took place in front of his store that morning: "The first thing I saw
was one man deal the other a sounding blow, and then a crowd gathered.
The man who was struck ran and grabbed a large shovel he had been using
on the street, and rushed back, his eyes blazing fiercely. I thought
he'd surely knock the other man's brains out, and I stepped right in
between them."

The young son of the family had become so hugely interested in the
narrative as it proceeded that he had stopped eating his pudding. So
proud was he of his father's valor, his eyes fairly shone, and he cried:

"He couldn't knock any brains out of you, could he, Father?"

Father looked at him long and earnestly, but the lad's countenance was
frank and open.

Father gasped slightly, and resumed his supper.

_See also_ Tact.

COMPOSERS

Recipe for the musical comedy composer:

Librettos of all of the operas,
Some shears and a bottle of paste,
Curry the hits of last season,
Add tumpty-tee tra la to taste.

--_Life_.

COMPROMISES

Boss--"There's $10 gone from my cash drawer, Johnny; you and I were the
only people who had keys to that drawer."

Office Boy--"Well, s'pose we each pay $5 and say no more about it."

CONFESSIONS

"You say Garston made a complete co