have opened
negotiations with your father upon the subject of--er--coming to see you
oftener, with a view ultimately to forming an alliance, and he has
responded favorably. May I ask if you will ratify the arrangement, as a
_modus vivendi?_"

"Mr. von Harris," answered the daughter of the eminent diplomat, "don't
you think it would have been a more graceful recognition of my
administrative entity if you had asked me first?"

I call'd the devil and he came,
And with wonder his form did I closely scan;
He is not ugly, and is not lame,
But really a handsome and charming man.
A man in the prime of life is the devil,
Obliging, a man of the world, and civil;
A diplomatist too, well skill'd in debate,
He talks quite glibly of church and state.

--_Heine_.

DISCIPLINE

_See_ Military discipline; Parents.

DISCOUNTS

A train in Arizona was boarded by robbers, who went through the pockets
of the luckless passengers. One of them happened to be a traveling
salesman from New York, who, when his turn came, fished out $200, but
rapidly took $4 from the pile and placed it in his vest pocket.

"What do you mean by that?" asked the robber, as he toyed with his
revolver. Hurriedly came the answer: "Mine frent, you surely vould not
refuse me two per zent discount on a strictly cash transaction like
dis?"

DISCRETION

When you can, use discretion; when you can't, use a club.

DISPOSITION

One eastern railroad has a regular form for reporting accidents to
animals on its right of way. Recently a track foreman had the killing of
a cow to report. In answer to the question, "Disposition of carcass?" he
wrote: "Kind and gentle."

There was one man who had a reputation for being even tempered. He was
always cross.

DISTANCES

A regiment of regulars was making a long, dusty march across the rolling
prairie land of Montana last summer. It was a hot, blistering day and
the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next
town.

A rancher rode past.

"Say, friend," called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next
town?"

"Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher.
Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered.

"How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly.

"Oh, a good two miles."

A weary half-hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher.

"Hey, how far's the next