me at 'im!" yelled the ape. "Lave me at 'im, the dirty villain!
I'll have the rube's loife, or me name ain't Magillicuddy!"

Fortunately for the countryman and for Magillicuddy, too, the man-eating
ape was restrained by the bystanders in time to prevent a killing.

Willie to the circus went,
He thought it was immense;
His little heart went pitter-pat,
For the excitement was in tents.

--_Harvard Lampoon_.

A child of strict parents, whose greatest joy had hitherto been the
weekly prayer-meeting, was taken by its nurse to the circus for the
first time. When he came home he exclaimed:

"Oh, Mama, if you once went to the circus you'd never, never go to a
prayer-meeting again in all your life."

Johnny, who had been to the circus, was telling his teacher about the
wonderful things he had seen.

"An' teacher," he cried, "they had one big animal they called the
hip--hip--

"Hippopotamus, dear," prompted the teacher.

"I can't just say its name," exclaimed Johnny, "but it looks just like
9,000 pounds of liver."

CIVILIZATION

An officer of the Indian Office at Washington tells of the patronizing
airs frequently assumed by visitors to the government schools for the
redskins.

On one occasion a pompous little man was being shown through one
institution when he came upon an Indian lad of seventeen years. The
worker was engaged in a bit of carpentry, which the visitor observed in
silence for some minutes. Then, with the utmost gravity, he asked the
boy:

"Are you civilized?"

The youthful redskin lifted his eyes from his work, calmly surveyed his
questioner, and then replied:

"No, are you?"--_Taylor Edwards_.

"My dear, listen to this," exclaimed the elderly English lady to her
husband, on her first visit to the States. She held the hotel menu
almost at arm's length, and spoke in a tone of horror: "'Baked Indian
pudding!' Can it be possible in a civilized country?"

"The path of civilization is paved with tin cans."--_The Philistine_.

CLEANLINESS

"Among the tenements that lay within my jurisdiction when I first took
up mission work on the East Side." says a New York young woman, "was one
to clean out which would have called for the best efforts of the
renovator of the Augean stables. And the families in this tenement were
almost as hopeless as the tenement itself.

"On one occasion I felt distinctly encouraged, however, since I observed
that the face of