ique domestic proposition that she felt called upon to seek
expert advice from another woman, whom she knew to possess considerable
experience in the cooking line.

"Mrs. Jones," said the first mentioned young woman, as she breathlessly
entered the apartment of the latter, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I
must have your advice."

"What is the trouble, my dear?"

"Why, I've just had a 'phone message from Harry, saying that he is going
out this afternoon to shoot clay pigeons. Now, he's bound to bring a lot
home, and I haven't the remotest idea how to cook them. Won't you please
tell me?"--_Taylor Edwards_.

Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends us cooks.--_David
Garrick_.

COOKS

_See_ Servants.

CORNETS

Spurgeon was once asked if the man who learned to play a cornet on
Sunday would go to heaven.

The great preacher's reply was characteristic. Said he: "I don't see why
he should not, but"--after a pause--"I doubt whether the man next door
will."

CORNS

Great aches from little toe-corns grow.

CORPULENCE

The wife of a prominent Judge was making arrangements with the colored
laundress of the village to take charge of their washing for the summer.
Now, the Judge was pompous and extremely fat. He tipped the scales at
some three hundred pounds.

"Missus," said the woman, "I'll do your washing, but I'se gwine ter
charge you double for your husband's shirts."

"Why, what is your reason for that Nancy," questioned the mistress.

"Well," said the laundress, "I don't mind washing fur an ordinary man,
but I draws de line on circus tents, I sho' do."

An employee of a rolling mill was on his vacation when he fell in love
with a handsome German girl. Upon his return to the works, he went to
Mr. Carnegie and announced that as he wanted to get married he would
like a little further time off. Mr. Carnegie appeared much interested.
"Tell me about her," he said. "Is she short or is she tall, slender,
willowy?"

"Well, Mr. Carnegie," was the answer, "all I can say is that if I'd had
the rolling of her, I should have given her two or three more passes."

A very stout old lady, bustling through the park on a sweltering hot
day, became aware that she was being closely followed by a rough-looking
tramp.

"What do you mean by following me in this manner?" she indignantly
demanded. The tramp slunk back a little. But when the stout lady resumed
her walk he again took u