a soil.

And I must till my patch with care,
And watch its daily needs;
For lacking water, sun, and air,
The place would run to weeds.

In this the garden of the mind,
My flowers are all too few;
Yet am I well content to find
A modest bloom or two.

My lady hath a garden fair,
Or will when buds are blown:
I've but a blossom here and there--
Poor posies, but mine own.

* * *

"Very well, here is a constructive criticism," declared Col. Roosevelt,
tossing another grenade into the administration trenches. The Colonel is
our favorite constructive critic. After he has finished a bit of
construction it takes an hour for the dust to settle.

* * *

Judgment day will be a complete performance for the dramatic critics.
They will be able to stay for the last act.

* * *

Why is it that when a woman takes the measurements for a screen door she
thinks she has to allow a couple of inches to turn in?

* * *

"Woman Lights 103 Candles With One Match."

Huh! Helen, with one match, lit the topless towers of Ilium.

* * *

It may be--nay, it is--ungallant so to say, but---- Well, have you, in
glancing over the beauty contest exhibits, observed a face that would
launch a thousand ships? Or five hundred?

* * *

"Learn to Speak on Your Feet," advertises a university extension. We
believe we could tell all we know about ours in five hundred words.

* * *

GOOD NIGHT!

[From the Omaha Bee.]

Mrs. Riley gave a retiring party in honor of her husband.

* * *

At the Hotel Dwan, in Benton Harbor, "rooms may be had en suite or
connecting." Or should you prefer that they lead one into another, the
management will be glad to accommodate you.

* * *

Government census blanks read on top of sheet: "Kindly fill out
questions below." One of the questions is: "Can you read? Can you write?
Yes or No?" This reminds a Minneapolis man of the day when he was about
15 miles from Minneapolis and read on a guide post: "15 miles to
Minneapolis. If you cannot read, ask at the grocery store."

* * *

The wave of spiritualism strikes Mr. Leacock as absurd, simply absurd.
"And yet people seem to be going mad over it," he adds. What do you mean
"and yet," Stephen? Don't you mean "consequently"?

*