by a drug concern._)

Gentlemen: Your postal received, regarding an order which you sent us
and which you have not, as yet, received.

Upon referring to our records, we fail to find any record of ever having
received the order in question. The last order received from your firm
was for a pair of flat cylindrical lenses to match broken sample you
enclosed. This was taken care of the same day as received and sent on to
you, properly addressed. We would suggest that you enter tracer with the
postoffice department in endeavor to locate the package.

Regretting that it is necessary for us to give you this information, we
remain, etc.

P. S. Since writing the above, the order in question was received at
this office--this morning.

* * *

THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.

Sir: The handle on the valve is missing, and I can't turn off the
radiator. The room was hot, and I've had to "open wide the windows,
open wide the door." The resultant draft has just brought a series of
"kerchoos" out of me. Valve-handle sneezes, I called them.

Sim Nic.

* * *

Miss Emily Davis weds Mrs. Charles Parmele.--Wilmington, N. C.,
Dispatch.

Why don't the men propose, mama, why don't the men propose?

* * *

THE SANDS OF TIME.

Whenever I observe a quartette of commuters at cards I regret that the
hours I gave to mastering whist were not given instead to the study of
Greek.

* * *

"The military salute," says our neighbor on the left, "is a courtesy of
morale when it proceeds from one fighting man to another." This was
impressed in 1918 upon a colored recruit who was hauled up for not
saluting his s. o. His explanation was, "Ah thought you and me had got
so well acquainted Ah didn't have to salute you no mo'."

* * *

THE TRUTH AT LAST!

Sir: Socrates and Epictetus did not learn Greek at 81--they were Greeks.
It was the Roman Cato who began to study Greek at 80.

C. E. C.

* * *

Now that we all know it was neither Socrates nor Epictetus who learned
Greek at 81 (because, you see, being Greeks they did not have to study
the language), you may like to know something about Julius Caesar. He
was, narrates a high school paper, "the noblest of English kings. He
learned Latin late in life in order to translate an ecclesiastical work
into the vernaculary of the