rks on the walls of time.

* * *

HE SHOULD.

Sir: Mr. Treetop, 6 feet 2 inches, is a porter at the St. Nicholas
Hotel, Decatur. Would he add anything to the landscape gardening
surrounding the Academy of Immortals?

W. N. C.

* * *

WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT.

[From the Marengo Republican-News.]

Baptist Church, 7:30 p.m.--Popular evening service. Subject, "Fools and
Idiots." A large number are expected.

* * *

Speaking again of "experience essential but not necessary," it was a
gadder who observed to a fellow traveler in the smoker: "It is not only
customary, but we have been doing it right along."

* * *

"Even now," remarks an editorial colleague, "the person who says 'It is
I' is conscious of a precise effort which exaggerates the ego." No such
effort is made by one of our copyreaders, who never changes 'who' or
'whom' in a piece of telegraph copy; because, says he, "I never know
which is right."

* * *

HERE IT IS AGAIN.

[From the classified ads.]

Saleslady, attractive, energetic, ambitious hustler. Selling
experience essential but not necessary. Fred'k H. Bartlett & Co.

Her attractiveness, perchance, is also essential but not necessary.

* * *

We see by the lith'ry notes that Vance Thompson has published another
book. Probably we told you about the farmer in Queechee at whose house
Vance boarded one summer. "He told me he was going to do a lot of
writing," said the h. h. s. of t. to us, "and got me to hitch up and
drive over to Pittsfield and buy him a quart bottle of ink. And dinged
if he didn't give me the bottle, unopened, when he went back to town in
the fall."

* * *

AFTER READING HARVEY'S WEEKLY.

I love Colonel Harvey,
His stuff is so warm,
And if you don't bite him
He'll do you no harm.

I'll sit by the fire
And feed him raw meat,
And Harvey will roar me
Clear off'n my feet.

* * *

The Nobel prize for the best split infinitive has been awarded to the
framer of the new administrative code of the state of Washington, which
contains this:

"To, in case of an emergency requiring expenditures in excess of the
amount appropriated by the legislature for any institution of the state,
state officer, or department of the state government, and upon the
written