r,
And write of things that really interest me:

Of books in running brooks, and wilding wings,
Of music, stardust, children, casements giving
On seas unvext by wars, and other things
That help to make our brief life worth the living.

I sing of arms and heroes, just because
All else is shadowed by that topic fearful;
But I've a mind to chuck it [Loud applause],
And tune my dollar harp to themes more cheerful.

* * *

Listen, Laura, Mary, Jessica, Dorothy, and other sweet singers! Gadder
Roy, who is toiling over the pitcher-and-bowl circuit, wishes that some
poet would do a lyric on that salvation of the traveler, Ham and Eggs.
He doubts that it can be done by anybody who has not, time out of mind,
scanned a greasy menu in a greasier hashery, and finally made it h.
and e.

* * *

WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.

Sir: Should G. E. Thorpe's typewritten communications carrying the
suggestion GET/FAT precede or follow our communications which carry
EAT/ME?

E. A. T.

THEY'RE OFF!

Sir: What position in your letter file, respecting the suggestions of
GET/FAT, will my typewritten letters land, as they end thusly: "HEL/NO"?

H. E. L.

SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.

Sir: Perhaps the reason my collection letters have so little effect
lately is that these cheerless communications always conclude with
JAM/JAR.

J. A. M.

BUT APROPOS.

Sir: All this GET/FAT excitement reminds me of the case, so old it's
probably new again, of one Simmons, who wrote letters for one Green,
and signed them "Green, per Simmons."

W. S.

SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.

Sir: I have been waiting, very patiently, for some one to inform you
that the sincerity of A. L. Lewis, manager of the country elevator
department of the Quaker Oats Company, is sometimes made questionable by
the initials, ALL/GAS, appearing on his business correspondence.

O. K.

* * *

THE SECOND POST.

[Received by a clothing company.]

Dear Sirs: I received the suits you sent me but in blue not gray as I
said. Don't try to send me your refuss, I am sending them back. I ain't
color blind or a jack ass, you shouldn't treat me as that. I understand
your wife is making coats for ladies now. Have her make one (dar