he table and slap the cracker.

V.

* * *

By the way, Bismarck had a solution of the Irish problem which may have
been forgotten. He proposed that the Irish and the Dutch exchange
countries. The Dutch, he said, would make a garden of Ireland. "And the
Irish?" he was asked. "Oh," he replied, "the Irish would neglect the
dikes."

* * *

A city is known by the newspapers it keeps. They reflect the tastes of
the community, and if they are lacking in this or that it is because the
community is lacking. And so it is voxpoppycock to complain that a
newspaper is not what a small minority thinks it ought to be. The fault,
dear Brutus, is not in our journals, but in ourselves, that we are
underlings.

Dissatisfaction with American newspapers began with the first one
printed, and has been increasing steadily since. In another hundred
years this dissatisfaction may develop into positive annoyance.

* * *

We tried to have a sign in Los Onglaze translated into French for the
benefit of Lizy, the linotype operator who sets this column in Paris,
and who says she has yet to get a laugh out of it, but two Frenchmen who
tried their hand at it gave it up. Perhaps the compositor at the
adjacent machine can randmacnally it for Lizy. Here is the enseigne:

"Flannels washed without shrinking in the rear."

* * *

To the fair Murine: "Drink to me only with thine eyes."

* * *

"Hosiery for Easter," declares an enraptured ad writer in the Houston
Post, "reaches new heights of loveliness."

* * *

If the persons who parade around with placards announcing that this or
that shop is "unfair" were to change the legend to read, "God is
unfair," they might get a sympathetic rise out of us. We might question
the assertion that in creating men unequal the Creator was actuated by
malice rather than a sense of humor, but we should not insist on the
point.

* * *

THE SECOND POST.

[Received by a construction company.]

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your company which will teach me of oprating steam and steam ingean. I
was fireing at a plant not long ago and found one of your catalogs and
it give me meny good idol about steam. I have been opiratin stean for
the last 12 years for I know that there are lots more to learn about