perfect business day.

* * *

Mr. Kipling has obtained an injunction and damages because a medicine
company used a stanza of his "If" to boost its pills. While we do not
think much of the verses, we are glad the public is reminded that the
little things which a poet dashes off are as much private property as a
bottle of pills or a washing machine.

* * *

Animals in a new Noah's Ark are made correctly to the scale designed by
a London artist who studies the beasts in the Zoo. Would you buy such an
ark for a child? Neither would we.

* * *

Social nuances are indicated by a farmer not far from Chicago in his use
of table coverings, as follows: For the family, oil cloth; for the
school teacher, turkey red; for the piano tuner, white damask.

* * *

SHE SAT APART.

Sir: We were talking across the aisle. Presently the girl who sat alone
leaned over and said: "You and the lady take this seat. I'm not
together."

A. H. H. A.

* * *

THE G. P. P.

Sir: What is the gadder's pet peeve? Mine is to be aroused by the hotel
maid who jiggles the doorknob at 8 a.m., when the little indicator shows
the room is still locked from the inside. It happened to me to-day at
the Blackhawk in Davenport.

W. S.

* * *

BEG YOUR PARDON.

W. S. writes, after a long session with his boss, that the recent
announcement he was disturbed at 8 o'clock by the rattling of his hotel
door was a typographical error committed in this office (sic), the hour
as stated by him really having been 6.30 a.m.

* * *

The manager of the Hotel Pomeroy, Barbados, W. I., warns: "No cigarettes
or cocktails served to married ladies without husband's consent."

* * *

It is years since we read "John Halifax, Gentleman," but we must dust
off the volume. The Japanese translation has a row of asterisks and the
editor's explanation: "At this point he asked her to marry him."

* * *

Gadders have many grievances, and one of them is the small-town
grapefruit. One traveler offers the stopper of a silver flask for an
authentic instance of a grapefruit served without half of the tough
interior thrown in for good measure.

* * *

If Jedge Landis has time to attend to another job, a great many people
wou