request of the governing authorities of the institution, the
state officer, or the head of the department, and in case the board by a
majority vote of all its members determines that the public interest
requires it, issue a permit in writing," etc.

* * *

"'When this art reaches so high a standard the Post deems it a duty to
publicly commend it.'--Edward A. Grozier, Editor and Publisher the
Boston Post."

But ought a Bostonian to split his infinitives in public? It doesn't
seem decent.

* * *

Every now and then a suburban train falls to pieces, and the trainmen
wonder why. "What do you know about that?" they say. "It was as good as
new this morning." It never occurs to them that the slow but sure
weakening of the rolling stock is due to Rule 7 in the "Instructions to
Trainmen," which requires conductors and brakemen to close coach doors
as violently as possible. Although not required to, many passengers
imitate the trainmen. With them it is a desire to make a noise in the
world. If a man cannot attract attention in the arts and the
professions, a sure way is to bang doors behind him.

* * *

DOXOLOGY.

Praise Hearst, from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Hearst, who runs things here below.
Praise them who make him manifest--
Praise Andy L. and all the rest.

Praise Hearst because the world is round,
Because the seas with salt abound,
Because the water's always wet,
And constellations rise and set.

Praise Hearst because the grass is green,
And pleasant flow'rs in spring are seen;
Praise him for morning, night and noon.
Praise him for stars and sun and moon.

Praise Hearst, our nation's aim and end,
Humanity's unselfish friend;
And who remains, for all our debt,
A modest sweet white violet.

* * *

We like Schubert's Unfinished Symphony, Kubla Khan, and many other
unfinished things, but we have always let unfinished novels
alone--unless you consider unfinished the yarn that "Q" finished for
Stevenson. And so we are unable to appreciate the periodical eruptions
of excitement over "The Mystery of Edwin Drood." Were we to read it, we
dessay we should be as nutty as the Dickens fans.

* * *

Mr. Basso, second violin in the Minneapolis Orchestra, would seem to
have missed his vocation by a few seats.

* * *

MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED!

[From