k) for
my wife who is a stout 42 with a fer neck. Now send me what I asked for,
the old woman is perticular. The trousers you sent wouldn't slip over my
head. Ever faithful, etc.

* * *

For Academy Ghost, or Familiar Spirit, P. D. Q. nominates Miss Bessie
Spectre of Boston.

* * *

"The lake is partially frozen over and well filled with
skaters."--Janesville Gazette.

Three children sliding on the ice,
Upon a summer's day,
As it fell out, they all fell in,
The rest they ran away.

Ma Goose.

* * *

There is plenty of snap to the department of mathematics in the
Shortridge high school in Indianapolis. The head of the department is
Walter G. Gingery.

* * *

Wedded, in Chicago, Otho Neer and Lucille Dimond. Fashion your own
setting.

* * *

Oh, dear! Rollin Pease, the singer, is around again, reminding sundry
readers of the difficulty of keeping them on a knife.

* * *

"THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN'S."

(_Postscriptum._)

I'll write no more verses--plague take 'em!--
Court neither your smiles nor your frowns,
If you'll only please tell how to make 'em,
Those flapjacks of Brown's.

D. W. A.

Three cupfuls of flour will do nicely,
And toss in a teaspoon of salt;
Next add baking powder, precisely
Two teaspoons, the stuff to exalt;
Of sugar two tablespoons, heaping--
(All spoons should be heaping, says Neal);
Then mix it with strokes that are sweeping,
And stir like the Deil.

Three eggs. (Tho' the missus may sputter,
You'll pay to her protest no heed.)
A size-of-an-egg piece of butter,
And milk as you happen to need.
Now mix the whole mess with a beater;
Don't get it too thick or too thin.
(And I pause to remark that this meter
Is awkward as sin.)

Of course there are touches that only
A genius like Brown can impart;
And genius is everywhere lonely,
And no one but Brown has the art.
I picture him stirring--a gentle
Exponent of modern Romance,
With his shirttails, in style Oriental,
Outside of his pants.

* * *

THE DICTATERS.

Sir: I have lost a year's growth since I went into business in answering
questions about the letters that appear after my
communications--HAM/AND.