Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]

After the serving of light refreshments the young ladies repaired to the
third floor and "tripped the light fantastic" while music waved eternal
wands. And then the whole company flocked in and enjoyed the beauties of
this grand home, lingering and chatting, with the enchanted spell of the
glorious evening still strong upon each one, until the crescent moon had
veiled her face and the vain young night trembled over her own beauty.
And then with expressed regrets that the hours had flown so rapidly the
guests bade a fair good night to their charming hostess.

* * *

TEMPERATURE.

An idea pushed along to us by L. O. K. has no doubt been seriously
considered by the Congress. It is to move the tubes of all thermometers
up an inch on the scale every fall, and down an inch in the spring. This
would make our winter temperature much more endurable, and our summer
temp. delightful.

* * *

LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.

Sir: Before the Congress adopts the idea of L. O. K. to move the tubes
of all thermometers up an inch on the scale every fall and down an inch
in the spring, I rush to inquire how shall we, who possess only a two
inch thermometer, on which an inch covers at least 70 degrees, be able
to withstand the extremes of climate? May I not suggest that the
Congress be petitioned to make the move by degrees instead of inches,
and thus avoid great suffering?

L. J. R.

* * *

You may have noted--nearly everybody else did--that Jean Paige and
Albert Smith were married in Paris, Ill., "at the farm residence of Mr.
and Mrs. Wigfall O'Hair." The Academy of Immortals attended in a body.

* * *

Commuters discuss many interesting topics, including the collection of
garbage. Mac was reminded of a Michigan lady of his acquaintance who,
with a new maid, was trying to pull off a very correct luncheon. In the
midst of it the maid appeared and said, "Oh, Mrs. Kennedy, the garbage
man wants a dime." The hostess, without batting an eye, replied: "We are
having company to-day. Better get a quarter's worth."

* * *

"'My mind is open on the question of garbage disposal,' Alderman Link
declared."

You know what he means.

* * *

HYMN OF HATE.

(_Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover._)

Cranberry pie, or apricot--
We love them not, we hate the