the
house, and an epitaph over the home rule bill. Recreation: St. Andrew's
golf and writing deep books.

BALZAC, H., a Frenchman who wrote a few Parisian stories which may be
discussed in respectable company.

BARBAROSSA, Kaiser, the only emperor of Germany who ever went to sleep.

BARKIS. Fame rested only upon his complete willingness.

BARLEYCORN, John, an eminent citizen of the world. Spent early days in
the fields, breweries, and distilleries. Later resided in cellars. John
had a red nose. Was a great friend of Bacchus. He was a "wasser," he
is an "iser," and he will be a "will be-er." Ambition: The end of
temperance societies.

BARNUM, Phineas T., fathered the introduction of the peanut, the clown,
and the beautiful bareback riders. As a side show he taught that some
Americans were Progressives part of the time; that other Americans were
Republicans all the time, but that all Americans were not Democrats all
the time.

BARRY, Madame Du, writers' model, former queen of France. Was a great
friend of Louis XV. and helped make the dances at Versailles a success.
She always preferred marcel waves to pompadours. Ambition: To have and
to hold. Address: See Louis. Clubs: Anti-suffragette.

BARTHOLOMEW, an unfortunate saint who was skinned alive. Patron of gold
mine investors and American tourists in Europe.

BEARD, Blue, inventor of an original method to dispose of wives, before
Reno was discovered.

BEATRICE, a Florentine girl who gained fame by refusing the suit of
a love-sick poet. Later she conducted him through heaven, and made
arrangements for his travels in the other place. B. died a famous old
maid. Ambition: A lover with money. Epitaph: She Might Have Been Mrs.
Dante Had She Wanted To.

BEECHAM, a celebrated pill roller.

BELL, Alexander Graham, inventor of a well-known necessity and nuisance.
Started the saying, "Number, please."

BELSHAZZAR, an old king whose handwriting on the wall proved to be
correct.

BENEDICT, Saint, the man who introduced benedictine and monks into
Europe. Also gave his name to benedicts.

BERLITZ, the man who will teach you how to say it in everything.

BERNHARDT, Sarah, an ancient French actress. Sarah was born before birth
records were inaugurated, and no historian has been able to determine
her age. Career: On the stage at four months. During her young-woman
and goodlooking days-hood B. is said to have made a hit with European
nobility. In her declining years she