the social functions of a king to assist the government.
Legends prevail to the effect that he patterned his actions on a
Napoleon-Roosevelt policy. He also was requested to move. Ambition: A
revolution with himself on top. Recreation: The fandango. Address: Fifty
years in the White House of Mexico. Epitaph: Wilson Never Bothered Me.

DICE, see Thomas and Harry.

DICE, Diamond, American ten-cent adventurer; friend of the messenger
boys and embryo criminals. His biography formed an important part in the
lives of the boys who never visited the Carnegie libraries.

DICKENS, Charles, an English writer who wrote.

DIN, Gunga, a limpin' lump of brick dust, water carrier. Employed in
H. R. H. service in India. Wore few clothes. Fought in many battles.
Frequently gave bad water to soldiers. Rescued Thomas Atkins, but was
shot while in the act. Saved the government the price of a medal. His
pathetic story was widely published. Later it fell into disfavor in the
U. S. and Great Britain, it now being considered a crime to recite the
story. Ambition: To come back like Sherlock Holmes. Recreation: Sleep.
Address: Care of biographer.

DIOGENES, the most foolish man who ever lived. He endeavored to
find something with a lantern which could not even be located with a
searchlight. Ambition: A brighter lantern. Recreation: Cleaning globes.
Address: Tub. Epitaph: Here Lies A Man Who Attempted The Impossible.

DISRAELI, a Hebrew who gave up the trades of his ancestors to run
England.

DOE, John, an honest man who was defrauded out of millions by persons
who forged his name.

DOODLE, Yankee, American horseman who made people take off their hats,
shout, and whistle when he rode into town.

DORCAS, a modiste who founded the church gossip societies.

DOWIE, alias Elijah II, a celebrated Chicago divine who showed the world
how easily some people were deprived of their money and religion.

DRAKE, Francis, an English admiral who did not have a public square
named after him. D. also introduced the spud into Ireland.

DREAMER, T. H. E., castle builder. Lived long ago, and intended doing
something to-day. Spent much time thinking about the best girl in the
world. A great friend of Procrastinator. Went through life waiting for
to-morrow. Several men, however, with the same name, have awakened and
given their dreams to the world (see Columbus, etc., and Lady Macbeth).

DREW, John, prehistoric American actor.

DREYFUS, Captain, founder