pigeons
between march compositions.

SPENCER, Herbert, a scientist who believed the human race degenerated
from monkeys, and established the theory that only the survivors are the
fittest.

SUFFRAGETTE, T. H. E., a woman who lived years ago in Great Britain
and the United States, who believed that noble man was incompetent,
incomplete, incompatible, incongruent, inconsistent, and an incubus in
his incurious incumbency. She was the daughter of Too Much Time and Too
Much Money. Early days spent at home. She married and began her career.
S.'s first weakness was a club. Then she fell to the level of a speech
maker and a flag carrier. The fanatical desire to see her name in print
led to the adoption of strenuous press-agent tactics. She died fighting.
Ambition: To offset her husband's vote on election day. Recreation:
Parading, windows, bombs, letter boxes, English ministries, and a string
of etcs. Epitaph: Requiescat In Pace. (Also see Mrs. Pankhurst and
Hope.)

SUFFRAGETTE, T. H. E. Anti-, still lives, but is dying fast. Belongs to
the moss-back half of femininity. Has serious objection to use of her
head, except for decorative purposes. Was not averse to press notices
and looked with envy on the achievements of the suffragettes in this
direction. Being denied high office in their ranks because of lack of
adequate cerebration, she set up a rival organization where brains were
not requisite. Entertains the utterly absurd idea that all women, except
herself, belong at home with their husbands and children. Where they
belong in the absence of these, deponent sayeth not. Ambition: Continued
parasitic existence. Recreation: Manufacturing evidence and tagging on
behind. Address: Wherever there are suffrage meetings. Epitaph: Alas!
The World Does Move And She Was "Agin It."

SULZER, William, the kettle who called Murphy black. Also the governor
of New York who enjoyed the unprecedented honor of retiring from office
in order that he might be considered a progressive. Motto: Be sure your
sins will get you out. Ambition: To be a martyr to the claws. Diet:
Tigers. Epitaph: You May Air, You May Perfume Your Clothes As You Will,
But The Smell Of Impeachment Will Cling To You Still.

T

TAFT, William Howard, a former fat, and last Republican, president
of the United States who worshipped the trusts, the Constitution, the
Supreme Court, and Theodore Roosevelt. The love he bore the latter
resulted in his election. The two br