still in Who's Who, and probably will remain there until arrested.

SAM, Uncle, a tall, lean, good-natured rich man who sets paces and
spends his money. Born July 4, 1776, S. Great Britain. Godfathered
by France. Was an impetuous baby. Education: School of experience at
Washington. S. was assisted in early life by a number of men who took an
interest in him. When thirty-six years of age he chastised his mother,
but later became on excellent terms. Went in for land and colonization
business. Succeeded. At the age of eighty-four S. suffered from a severe
attack of internal indiscretion. Recuperated slowly. Later entered the
trust-raising business, and devoted considerable time to politics. In
1897 he spanked a European power, but had to take care of the children
after the incident. S. is either Republican or Democratic. Favors the
former, although once in awhile he desires change. Wore a goatee, long
hair, high hat, a suit made out of the flag, smoked cigarettes, had
bad manners, and used much slang. Publications: Bank notes. Ambition:
Another Republican president. Address: Washington, D. C., U. S. A.
Epitaph: (If he ever gets one he deserves it.)

SAMSON, exponent of hair restorer and an iconoclast. When a young man he
rehearsed his muscles until he could break a chain and lift a fat lady.
Entered the army. Was successful until he became bald. Committed suicide
by pushing a temple on himself.

SANDOW, a pupil of the above, vaudeville star and coin collector. One of
those individuals whom nature has endowed with a magnificent body, and
sufficient brains to make money with it.

SANTOS-DUMONT, a pre-Zeppelin-Wright air investigator who had enough
money and sense to quit before people remarked how natural he looked.

SAVONAROLA, a reformer of Florence, Italy, who succeeded in closing the
cafe's, theatres, and dance halls. He was popular with the masses until
election day. When the opposition returned they made it hot for him.

SAWYER, Thomas, a plain American boy who was rescued from obscurity by
Mark Twain, and became a good salesman.

SCHLITZ, press agent of Milwaukee, U. S. A., who was successful in
advertising himself and his town. In England he is Schwepps.

SCHOPENHAUER, father of race suicide. Lionized by the French Republic
and T. R. Ambition: Empty cribs. Recreation: Trips with his wife and
children. Clubs: Mother's.

SCOTS, Mary Queen of, a Scotch lady who is said to have been beautiful,
who fell in love,