s and wearing out brushes.
Recreation: He never had any.

TITIAN, another painter of Venice. His works have always been popular
with the men. They are exhibited in all European galleries, and cause
consternation among clergymen and school teachers. T. certainly could
paint. Ambition: Models. Recreation: Models.

TOLSTOY, a voice out of the dark.

TOM. (See Richard and Harry.)

TOM, Uncle, an old negro actor who appeared in every city, town,
village, and hamlet in the United States north of the Confederate
States. His history was written by Mrs. H. B. Stowe, and was the match
which kindled the Civil War. The Northerners have since learned that all
negroes are not Uncle Toms, and are wondering whether any mistakes were
made back in 1861.

TOURISTS, T. H. E., a man and woman who carried a camera, bought
post-cards, read Baedekers, visited Cook's office, rode in carriages,
and then told their friends all about the trip. Ambition: Just one look
at everything. Address: Principally Europe. Epitaph: They Came, They
Saw, They Vanished.

TROY, Helen of, a peach of a girl who eloped with a man and caused the
longest siege in history to make her elope back again.

TURNER, J. M. W., an English painter whose paint exploded on canvas.

TWAIN, Mark, an American who wore long white hair, made after-dinner
speeches, received university degrees, and made people laugh.

TWINS, Siamese, two men who were closer than brothers.

TWIST, Oliver, one of those unfortunates whose history had to be
divulged for the financial gain of a great writer and many theatrical
mangers.

U

UFFIZI, an Italian who prevented scores of the old masters from starving
to death by filling his house in Florence with their canvases. Since the
Morgan art raid the market price has advanced and U.'s investment has
become profitable.

ULYSSES, warrior, inventor, and traveler. Sprang into fame at the siege
of Troy, where he invented the horse which recaptured Helen. Escaped
from Polyphemus, a one-eyed giant, by sticking a burning telegraph pole
in his eye. Later performed his greatest feat by evading the Sirens.
Stayed away from home so much his wife forgot what he looked like. His
dog, however, recalled the scent and prevented U. from sleeping in the
barn. Press Agent: Homer. Recreation: Travel, wars. Address: Ithaca.

UNDERWOOD, Oscar, known as Underwood Bill. A gentleman from Alabama
who walked in a presidential, but ran in a senatorial, race. He