ntinue his travels. Ambition: A czarless Russia; less fussy people.
Publications: Much unpatriotic literature.

GRAY, the man who wrote a clever cemetery poem, the first line of which
is remembered by everybody.

GREAT, Peter the, shipbuilder, and the only ruler of Russia who never
was bombarded. Was also unique in the fact that he worked. Historians
claim this was due to his poor salary.

GROAT, John, proprietor of a celebrated house located some distance from
Land's End.

GUILLOTIN, Doctor, a French inventor of a popular method of
decapitation, who had such confidence in his invention that he was the
first to give it a practical demonstration.

GULLIVER, a Munchausen-Doctor Cook-Peary traveler who never submitted
his proofs, but who found a credulous publisher and a gullible public.
Never lectured.

H

HAFID, Mulai, a sultan of Morocco, who succeeded in abdicating before he
was abdicated.

HAGAR, Miss, Abraham's wife's maid who nearly broke up a happy family.

HAHNEMANN, Doctor, of Leipsig, discovered the sugar pill and called it
homeopathy.

HAM, second officer and engineer of the Ark.

HAMED, Abdul, a retired professor of diplomacy, champion promiser, and
a sick man. When a youth he began instructing the monarchs of Europe
in the use of a government. One of his favorite pastimes was reading
ultimatums. Fearless until a warship entered the harbor, and even then
usually got rid of it with promises. Employed massacres to break the
monotony of reigning. Acquired as fine a harem as ever sat on silk
cushions. Some of H.'s younger subjects though he should be ostlerized
(see Dr. Ostler). They gave him his harem and salary, and locked him up
in a palace. Then the wise ones lost Tripoli and about everything but
sleeping room in Europe. Motto: I told you so. Ambition: To be back on
the job. Recreations: Private entertainments. Address: Harem. Epitaph:
Everybody Worked But Father.

HAMLET, a Dane who had difficulty with an auxiliary verb. Also founded
the foolish questions.

HAMMERSTEIN, Oscar, an opera broker who inflicted himself, high prices,
and buildings upon certain communities.

HANDEL, placed "Handel's Largo" on the music stands. Also wrote a few
other airs.

HARRY. (See Thomas and Richard.)

HARVARD, John, an Englishman who founded a great American university
near the cultured town of Boston, Mass., U. S. A., where football
players and the sons of American millionaires eke out an education.