of specimens, he toured Europe and told the
king how to king and the emperors how to emp. Returning to the United
States he placed his hand in state politics. Fingers were badly burned.
When it came time to elect another president, R. was tired of scene
shifting and yearned for the bouquets of the audience. He girded up
his loins with the robes of sanctity, placed an international Harvester
Trust halo over his head, and proclaimed himself a second Moses who was
destined to lead the children of America out of the Land of the Frying
Pan into that of the Fire. With a mighty army of politicians, who also
wanted to get back, R. started his campaign with such a huge band he
could not hear any others. The fight was based on telling the voters
how easily they had been deceived four years earlier in what he had told
them concerning that "molycoddle Taft." R. was elected by the greatest
majority in history until the ballots were hatched. Later he joined the
ranks of William Jennings Bryan. Publications: The "I" books. Ambition:
To get back into Who's Who and Washington. Address: The Outlook. Oyster
Bay for newspapermen. Clubs: Founder of the Ananias. Epitaph: Same as
Bryan's.

ROTHSCHILDS, the Morgan-Rockefellers of Europe without quite as much
money.

ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will always escape
the police.

RUBENS, P. P., an artist who realized styles frequently changed, and
therefore painted fat people without their clothes.

RUSSE, Charlotte, a pleasant creature, but one who sometimes caused pain
after a visit.

RUSSIA, T. H. E., Czar of, an anti-bomb loving monarch with modern
subjects and a tenth-century brain. His childhood was spent in a
steel-lined cage, guarded by the army and the fleet. He was crowned in
a bomb-proof church by a thoroughly searched clergyman, only the crown,
the crowner, and the crowned being present to witness the ceremony.
Seldom goes about the country, as he fears the heartfelt expressions of
his subjects. In 1908 he became mixed up with Japan. Is now economizing.
Ambition: Only life. Recreation: Dissolving Doumas. signing death
warrants. Address: Large packages are always opened by the servants.
Send letters care St. Petersburg police department. Clubs: Army.
Epitaph: It Is A Wonder He Did Not Have This Long Ago.

S

SALOME, a celebrated dancer who could fill the largest opera houses
in the world with bald heads, opera glasses, and jealous women. She is