ped start the Civil War by espousing the
cause of the negro. This resulted in his body moulding in the grave.

BROWN, Thomas, an Englishman who reversed the usual procedure of life by
springing into print when young, and keeping out of it when old.

BROWNING, Robert, a cryptogram writer whose poems are deciphered by the
Bostonese and cultured English people. It has been estimated that B.
could say more with fewer words and conceal his meaning better than any
writer since the adaptation of the alphabet as a means of expression.

BROWNING, Mrs., Bob's wife. She also wrote poems. They were easily
understood, and consequently seldom read.

BRUMMELL, Beau, a man whose thoughts were more for the crease in his
pantaloons than for his head.

BRUTUS, Et Tu, a Roman murderer.

BRYAN, William Jennings, a famous Chatauqua lecturer who ran a newspaper
and the State Department on the side. Archaeologists claim B. formed
a passion to rule the nation when a child. He only got as far as the
Democratic party and platforms. Became a golden orator with a silver
speech and offered himself as a rectifier of all things not Bryan. For
ages his name was placed on the presidential ballot and later removed.
Made a fortune by telling people why they did not elect him. Also toured
the world, but shot no game in Africa or Monte Carlo. Was the father of
Bryanism, an odious word meaning things Bryan. Later secured one Wilson
to attend to Washington detail work. Motto: All things come to him with
bait. Ambition: Short ballot with one name. Publications: The Commoner,
a newspaper devoted to Bryan advertisements. Address: Mail forwarded
from Washington. Epitaph: He Will Rise Again.

BUCHANAN, J. C., manufacturer of the Scotchman's delight and weakness.
He showed the world the excellence of two colors, and caused many a man
to lose the keyhole.

BUDDHA, a prince of India who tired of good times and turned reformer.
Advised his congregations to adopt the recall and referendum. Nailed
several anti-saloon and burlesque planks in his platform. After B.'s
death his friends filled the Orient with his bronzes. He was fat and
wore a fascinating wart on his forehead.

BULL, John, a fine, fat, American-beef fed individual who inhabits
a suffragette-infested island somewhere in the North Atlantic. Born
several hundred years ago and is beginning to show his age. Is fond
of the sea and is said to have a fine fleet. This has had off years,
notably 1812. B. ha