and bells beneath
the sea), how we should rejoice that the beautiful things which you
dreamed are as a book that is sealed to most of those who put them upon
programmes; for these do not merely play them badly, they do not play
them at all. Thus they cannot be spoiled for us, nor can our ear be
dulled; and when the few play them that understand, they are as fresh
and beautiful as on the day when first you set them down.

* * *

"The increase in the use of tobacco by women," declares the Methodist
Board, "is appalling." Is it not? But so many things are appalling that
it would be a relief to everybody if a board, or commission, or other
volunteer organization were to act as a shock-absorber. Whenever an
appalling situation arose, this group could be appalled for the rest of
us. And we, knowing that the board would be properly appalled, should
not have to worry.

* * *

Ad of a Des Moines baggage transfer company: "Don't lie awake fearing
you'll miss your train--we'll attend to that." You bet they do.

* * *

The president of the Printing Press and Feeders' (sic) union estimates
that a family in New York requires $2,362 a year to get by. Which sets
us musing on the days of our youth in Manchester, N. H., when we were
envied by the others of the newspaper staff because we got $18 a week.
We lived high, dressed expensively (for Manchester), and always had
money for Wine and Song. How did we manage it? Blessed if we can
remember.

* * *

The soi-disant human race appears to its best advantage, perhaps its
only advantage, in work. The race is not ornamental, nor is it
over-bright, having only enough wit to scrape along with. Work is the
best thing it does, and when it seeks to avoid this, its reason for
existence disappears.

* * *

"Where," asks G. N., "can I find the remainder of that beautiful
Highland ballad beginning--

'I canna drook th' stourie tow,
Nor ither soak my hoggie:
Hae cluttered up the muckle doon,
An' wow but I was voggie.'"

* * *

Women regard hair as pianists regard technic: one can't have too much of
it.

* * *

The demand for regulation of the sale of wood alcohol reminds Uncle
Henry of Horace Greeley's remark when he was asked to subscribe to a
missionary fund "to save his fellow-man from going to hell." Said Hod,
"Not enough of them go