His call. When thou returnest, He is ready to receive thee;
and if thou returnest not, He makes use of the most engaging motives to
win thee. Yet thou turnest a deaf ear to His voice; thou wilt not hear
Him. Thou sayest He speaks not to thee, though He calls loudly. It is
therefore only because thou daily rebellest, and art growing daily more
and more deaf to the voice.

When I was in Paris, and the clergy saw me so young, they appeared
astonished. Those to whom I opened my state told me, that I could never
enough thank God for the graces conferred on me; that if I knew them I
should be amazed at them; and that if I were not faithful, I should be
the most ungrateful of all creatures. Some declared that they never
knew any woman whom God held so closely, and in so great a purity of
conscience.

I believe what rendered it so was the continual care Thou hadst over
me, O my God, making me feel Thy presence, even as Thou hast promised
it to us in Thy Gospel,--"if a man love me, my Father will love him,
and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him" (John 14:23).
The continual experience of Thy presence in me was what preserved me. I
became deeply assured of what the prophet had said, "Except the Lord
keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain" (Ps. 127:1). Thou, O my
Love, wert my faithful keeper, who didst defend my heart against all
sorts of enemies, preventing the least faults, or correcting them when
vivacity had occasioned their being committed. But alas! when Thou
didst cease to watch for me, or left me to myself, how weak was I, and
how easily did my enemies prevail over me! Let others ascribe their
victory to their own fidelity. As for me, I shall never attribute them
to anything else than thy paternal care. I have too often experienced,
to my cost, what I should be without Thee, to presume in the least on
any cares of my own. It is to Thee, and to Thee only, that I owe
everything. O my Deliverer; and my being indebted to Thee for it gives
me infinite joy.

While in Paris, I relaxed and did many things which I should not. I
knew the extreme fondness which some had for me, and suffered them to
express it without checking it as I ought. I fell into other faults
too, as having my neck a little too bare, though not near so much as
others had. I plainly saw I was too remiss; and that was my torment. I
sought all about for Him who had secretly inflamed my heart. But, alas!
hardly anybody knew Him. I cried,