ressed any pleasure. On the contrary, he only rejected
with scorn whatever office I performed. He was so difficult with me
about everything, that I sometimes trembled when I approached him. I
could do nothing to his liking; and when I did not attend him he was
angry. He had taken such a dislike to soups, that he could not bear the
sight of them. Those that offered them had a rough reception. Neither
his mother nor any of the domestics would carry them to him. There was
none but I who did not refuse that office. I brought them and let his
anger pass; then I tried in some agreeable manner to prevail on him to
take them. I said to him, "I had rather be reprimanded several times a
day, than let you suffer by not bringing you what is proper." Sometimes
he took; at other times he pushed them back.

When he was in a good humor and I was carrying something agreeable to
him, then my mother-in-law would snatch it out of my hands. She would
carry it herself. As he thought I was not so careful and studious to
please him he would fly in a rage against me and express great
thankfulness to his mother. I used all my skill and endeavors to gain
my mother-in-law's favor by my presents, my services; but could not
succeed.

"How bitter and grievous, O my God, would such a life be were it not
for Thee! Thou hast sweetened and reconciled it to me." I had a few
short intervals from this severe and mortifying life. These served only
to make the reverses more keen and bitter.

CHAPTER 18

About eight or nine months after my recovery from the smallpox, Father
La Combe, passing by our house, brought me a letter from Father de la
Motte, recommending him to my esteem, and expressing the highest
friendship for him. I hesitated because I was very loath to make new
acquaintances. The fear of offending my brother prevailed. After a
short conversation we both desired a farther opportunity. I thought
that he either loved God, or was disposed to love Him, and I wished
everybody to love Him. God had already made use of me for the
conversion of three of his order. The strong desire he had of seeing me
again induced him to come to our country house about half a league from
the town. A little incident which happened opened a way for me to speak
to him. As he was in discourse with my husband, who relished his
company, he was taken ill and retired into the garden. My husband bade
me go and see what was the matter. He told me he had noticed in my
co