that they esteemed in me virtue, joined
with youth and beauty. They did not know that all the virtue is only in
God, and His protection, and all the weakness in myself.

I went in search of confessors, to accuse myself of my failing, and to
bewail my backslidings. They were utterly insensible of my pain. They
esteemed what God condemned. They treated as a virtue what to me
appeared detestable in His sight. Far from measuring my faults by His
graces, they only considered what I was, in comparison of what I might
have been. Hence, instead of blaming me, they only flattered my pride.
They justified me in what incurred His rebuke, or only treated as a
slight fault what in me was highly displeasing to Him, from whom I had
received such signal mercies.

The heinousness of sins is not to be measured singly by their nature,
but also by the state of the person who commits them. The least
unfaithfulness in a spouse is more injurious to her husband, than far
greater ones in his domestics. I told them all the trouble I had been
under for not having entirely covered my neck. It was covered much more
than was covered by other women of my age. They assured me that I was
very modestly dressed. As my husband liked my dress there could be
nothing amiss in it. My inward Director taught me quite the contrary. I
had not courage enough to follow Him, and to dress myself differently
from others, at my age. My vanity furnished me with pretences seemingly
just for following fashions. If pastors knew what hurt they do in
humoring female vanity, they would be more severe against it! Had I
found but one person honest enough to deal plainly with me, I should
not have gone on. But my vanity, siding with the declared opinion of
all others, induced me to think them right, and my own scruples mere
fancy.

We met with accidents in this journey, sufficient to have terrified
anyone. Though corrupt nature prevailed so far as I have just
mentioned, yet my resignation to God was so strong, that I passed
fearless, even where there was apparently no possibility of escape. At
one time we got into a narrow pass, and did not perceive, until we were
too far advanced to draw back, that the road was undermined by the
river Loire, which ran beneath, and the banks had fallen in; so that in
some places the footmen were obliged to support one side of the
carriage. All those around me were terrified to the highest degree, yet
God kept me perfectly tranquil. I secretl