ou,"
replied Fawcett; "for, be whoever _else_ you will, _you_ will be a
gainer by the bargain."

CMII.--THE DIRECT ROAD.

WALKING to his club one evening with a friend, some intoxicated young
gentleman reeled up to Douglas Jerrold, and said: "Can you tell us the
way to the 'Judge and Jury?'" (a place of low entertainment). "_Keep on
as you are_, young gentleman," was the reply, "you're sure to _overtake
them_."

CMIII.--A SUGGESTIVE PAIR OF GRAYS.

JERROLD was enjoying a drive one day with a well-known,--a jovial
spendthrift.

"Well, Jerrold," said the driver of a very fine pair of grays, "what do
you think of my grays?"

"To tell you the truth," Jerrold replied, "I was just thinking of your
duns!"

CMIV.--DR. JOHNSON'S OPINION OF MRS. SIDDONS.

WHEN Dr. Johnson visited Mrs. Siddons, he paid her two or three very
elegant compliments. When she retired, he said to Dr. Glover, "Sir, she
is a prodigiously fine woman."--"Yes," replied Dr. Glover; "but don't
you think she is much finer upon the stage, when she is adorned by
art?"--"Sir," said Dr. Johnson, "on the stage _art_ does not adorn her:
_nature adorns_ her there, and _art glorifies_ her."

CMV.--A GOOD NEIGHBOR.

THE Duke of L.'s reply, when it was observed to him, that the gentlemen
bordering on his estates were continually hunting upon them, and that he
ought not to suffer it, is worthy of imitation: "I had much rather,"
said he, "have _friends_ than hares."

CMVI.--AN EQUIVOCATION.

A DIMINUTIVE attorney, named Else, once asked Jekyll: "Sir, I hear you
have called me a pettifogging scoundrel. Have you done so, sir?"--"No,
sir," said Jekyll, with a look of contempt. "I never said you were a
pettifogger, or a scoundrel; but I did say you were _little Else_."

CMVII.--A WISE FOOL.

A PERSON wishing to test whether a daft individual, about whom a variety
of opinions were entertained,--some people thinking him not so foolish
as he seemed,--knew the value of money, held out a sixpence and a penny,
and offered him his choice. "I'll tak' the _wee_ ane," he says, giving
as his modest reason, "I'se no' be greedy." At another time, a miller,
laughing at him for his witlessness, he said, "Some things I ken, and
some I dinna ken." On being asked what he knew, he said, "I ken a miller
has _aye a gey fat sou_."--"An' what d'ye no ken?" said the miller.
"Ou," he returned, "I dinna ken at wha's _expense_