with a fellow-student, who, not keeping
his temper, threw a glass of wine in the actor's face; when Henderson
took out his handkerchief, wiped his face, and cooly said, "That, sir,
was a _digression_: now for the argument."

CMXLIX.--LYING.

DON'T give your mind to lying. A lie may do very well for a time, but,
like a bad shilling, it's found out at last.--D.J.

CML.--PERTINENT INQUIRY.

A PERSON addicted to lying, relating a story to another, which made him
stare, "Did you never hear that before?" said the narrator. "No," says
the other: "Pray, sir, _did you_?"

CMLI.--A POLITE REBUKE.

CHARLES MATHEWS, seated on a coach-box on a frosty day, waiting for the
driver, said to him when at length he appeared: "If you stand here much
longer, Mr. Coachman, your horses will be like Captain Parry's
ships."--"How's that, sir?"--"Why, _frozen at the pole_!"

CMLII.--A CERTAIN CROP.

UNDER the improved system of agriculture and of draining, great
preparations had been made for securing a good crop in a certain field,
where Lord Fife, his factor, and others interested in the subject were
collected together. There was much discussion, and some difference of
opinion as to the crop with which the field had best be sown. The idiot
retainer, who had been listening unnoticed to all that was said, at last
cried out, "_Saw't wi' factors_, ma lord; they are sure to thrive
everywhere."

CMLIII.--GOOD ADVICE.

NEVER confide in a young man,--new pails leak. Never tell your secret to
the aged,--old doors seldom shut closely.

CMLIV.--MR. THELWALL.

WHEN citizen Thelwall was on his trial at the Old Bailey for high
treason, during the evidence for the prosecution he wrote the following
note, and sent it to his counsel, Mr. Erskine: "I am determined to plead
my cause myself." Mr. Erskine wrote under it: "If you do, you'll be
hanged:" to which Thelwall immediately returned this reply: "_I'll be
hanged, then, if I do_."

CMLV.--CHEAP AT THE MONEY.

A SHILLING subscription having been set on foot to bury an attorney who
had died very poor, Lord Chief Justice Norbury exclaimed, "Only a
shilling to bury an attorney! Here's a guinea; go and bury
_one-and-twenty of them_."

CMLVI.--A QUERY FOR MR. BABBAGE.

A PERSON, hearing that "Time is Money," became desirous of learning how
many years it would take "_to pay_ a little debt of a hundred pounds!"