but
at the altar the parson demurred, as there was not cash enough between
them to pay the fees: on which Jack, thrusting a few shillings into the
sleeve of his cassock, exclaimed, "Never mind, brother, marry us as _far
as it will go_."

CMLXXXIX.--QUID PRO QUO.

SMITH and Brown, running opposite ways round a corner, struck each
other. "Oh dear!" says Smith, "how you made my head ring!"--"That's a
sign it's hollow," said Brown. "Didn't yours _ring_?" said Smith. "No,"
said Brown. "That's a sign it's _cracked_," replied his friend.

CMXC.--THE TRUTH BY ACCIDENT.

ONE communion Sabbath, the precentor observed the noble family of ----
approaching the tables, and likely to be kept out by those pressing in
before them. Being very zealous for their accommodation, he called out
to an individual whom he considered the principal obstacle in clearing
the passage, "Come back, Jock, and let in the noble family of ----," and
then turning to his psalm-book, took up his duty, and went on to read
the line, "Nor stand _in sinners' way_."

CMXCI.--ENCOURAGEMENT.

A YOUNG counsel commenced his stammering speech with the remark, "The
unfortunate client who appears by me--" and then he came to a full stop;
beginning again, after an embarrassed pause with a repetition of the
remark, "My unfortunate client--." He did not find his fluency of speech
quickened by the calm raillery of the judge, who interposed, in his
softest tone, "Pray go on, so far the court is quite _with you_."

CMXCII.--FALSE ESTIMATE.

KEAN once played _Young Norval_ to Mrs. Siddons's _Lady Randolph_: after
the play, as Kean used to relate, Mrs. Siddons came to him, and patting
him on the head, said, "You have played very well, sir, very well. It's
a pity,--but there's _too little_ of you to do anything."

Coleridge said of this "little" actor: "Kean is original; but he copies
from himself. His rapid descent from the hyper-tragic to the
infra-colloquial, though sometimes productive of great effect, are often
unreasonable. To see him act, is like reading 'Shakespeare' by flashes
of lightning. I do not think him thorough-bred gentleman enough to play
_Othello_."

CMXCIII.--AMERICAN PENANCE.

AS for me, as soon as I hear that the last farthing is paid to the last
creditor, I will appear on my knees at the bar of the Pennsylvanian
Senate in the plumeopicean robe of American controversy. Each Conscript
Jonathan sha