per, "How he
should stir the fire without interrupting the music."--"_Between the
bars_," replied the friend.

MLXXXVII.--ENTERING THE LISTS.

THE Duke of B----, who was to have been one of the knights of the
Eglinton tournament, was lamenting that he was obliged to excuse
himself, on the ground of an attack of the gout. "How," said he, "could
I ever get my poor puffed legs into those abominable iron boots?"--"It
will be quite as appropriate," replied Hook, "if your grace goes in your
_list_ shoes."

MLXXXVIII.--NOT IMPORTUNATE.

MRS. ROBISON (widow of the eminent professor of natural philosophy)
having invited a gentleman to dinner on a particular day, he had
accepted, with the reservation, "If I am spared."--"Weel, weel," said
Mrs. Robison, "if ye're _dead_ I'll no' expect ye."

MLXXXIX.--WITTY COWARD.

A FRENCH marquis having received several blows with a stick, which he
never thought of resenting, a friend asked him, "How he could reconcile
it with his honor to suffer them to pass without notice?"--"Pooh!"
replied the marquis, "I never trouble my head with anything that passes
behind my back."

MXC.--PRIORITY.

AN old Scotch domestic gave a capital reason to his _young_ master for
his being allowed to do as he liked: "Ye need na find faut wi' me,
Maister Jeems, _I hae been langer about the place than yersel'_."

MXCI.--SHOULD NOT SILENCE GIVE CONSENT?

A LAIRD of Logan was at a meeting of the heritors of Cumnock, where a
proposal was made to erect a new churchyard wall. He met the
proposition with the dry remark, "I never big dykes till the _tenants_
complain."

MXCII.--CHARACTERISTICS.

THE late Dr. Brand was remarkable for his spirit of contradiction. One
extremely cold morning, in the month of January, he was addressed by a
friend with,--"It is a very cold morning, doctor."--"I don't know that,"
was the doctor's observation, though he was at the instant covered with
_snow_. At another time he happened to dine with some gentlemen. The
doctor engrossed the conversation almost entirely to himself, and
interlarded his observations with Greek and Latin quotations, to the
annoyance of the company. A gentleman of no slight erudition, seated
next the doctor, remarked to him, "that he ought not to quote so much,
as many of the party did not understand it."--"And _you are one_ of
them," observed the learned bear.

MXCIII.--AN ERROR CORR