g that he did not understand. Dr. Parr, replied, "Then
young man, _your creed_ will be the shortest of any man's I know."

MII.--IN THE DARK.

A SCOTCH lady, who was discomposed by the introduction of gas, asked
with much earnestness, "What's to become o' the _puir whales_?" deeming
their interests materially affected by this superseding of their oil.

MIII.--NOT TO BE TEMPTED.

"COME down, this instant," said the boatswain to a mischievous son of
Erin, who had been idling in the round-top; "come down, I say, and I'll
give you a good dozen, you rascal!"--"Troth, sur, I wouldn't come down
if you'd give me _two dozen_!"

MIV.--QUITE POETICAL.

HARRY ERSKINE made a neat remark to Walter Scott after he got his
Clerkship of Session. The scheme to bestow it on him had been begun by
the Tories, but (most honorably) was completed by the Whigs, and after
the fall of the latter, Harry met the new Clerk, and congratulated him
on his appointment, which he liked all the better, as it was a "Lay of
the _Last Ministry_!"

MV.--CORPORATION POLITENESS.

AS a west-country mayor, with formal address,
Was making his speech to the haughty Queen Bess,
"The Spaniard," quoth he, "with inveterate spleen,
Has presumed to attack you, a poor virgin queen,
But your majesty's courage soon made it appear
That his Donship had ta'en the wrong sow by the ear."

MVI.--A COMMON WANT.

IN the midst of a stormy discussion, a gentleman rose to settle the
matter in dispute. Waving his hands majestically over the excited
disputants, he began:--

"Gentlemen, all I want is common sense--"

"Exactly," Jerrold interrupted, "that is precisely what you _do_ want!"

The discussion was lost in a burst of laughter.

MVII.--LARGE, BUT NOT LARGE ENOUGH.

THE Rev. William Cole, of Cambridge, nicknamed the Cardinal, was
remarkable for what is called a "comfortable assurance." Dining in a
party at the University, he took up from the table a gold snuff-box,
belonging to the gentleman seated next to him, and bluntly remarked that
"It was big enough to hold the freedom of a corporation."--"Yes, Mr.
Cole," replied the owner; "it would hold any _freedom_ but yours."

MVIII.--HENRY ERSKINE.

MR. HENRY ERSKINE (brother of Lord Buchan and Lord Erskine), after being
presented to Dr. Johnson by Mr. Boswell, and having made his bow,
slipped a shilling into Boswell's hand