ot a dram _after 't_, what will I say?"

MAXILLA.--GOOD EVIDENCE.

"DID you ever see Mr. Murdock return oats?" inquired the counsel.

"Yes, your honor," was the reply.

"On what _ground_ did he refuse them?" was next asked by the learned
counsel.

"_In the back-yard_," said Teddy, amidst the laughter of the court.

AXLE.--EPITAPH UPON PETER STAGGS.

POOR Peter Staggs now rests beneath this rail,
Who loved his joke, his pipe, and mug of ale;
For twenty years he did the duties well,
Of ostler, boots, and waiter at the Bell.
But death stepped in, and ordered Peter Staggs
To feed the worms, and leave the farmers' nags.
The church clock struck _one_--alas! 'twas Peter's knell,
Who sighed, "I'm coming--that's the ostler's bell!"

MXLVI.--QUIN AND THE PARSON.

A WELL-BENEFICED old parson having a large company to dinner,
entertained them with nothing else but the situation and profits of his
parochial livings, which he said he kept entirely to himself. Quin,
being one of the party, and observing that the parson displayed a pair
of very dirty yellow hands, immediately called out,--"So, so, doctor, I
think you do keep your _glebe_ in your own hands with a witness!"

MXLVII.--NATURAL ANTIPATHY.

FOOTE having satirized the Scotch pretty severely, a gentleman asked,
"Why he hated that nation so much."--"You are mistaken," said Foote, "I
don't hate the Scotch, neither do I hate frogs, but I would have
everything keep to its _native element_."

MXLVIII.--NOT NECESSARY.

"YOU flatter me," said a thin exquisite the other day to a young lady
who was praising the beauties of his moustache. "For heaven's sake,
ma'am," interposed an old skipper, "don't make that _monkey any flatter_
than he is!"

MXLIX.--ASSURANCE AND INSURANCE.

STERNE, the author of the "Sentimental Journey," who had the credit of
treating his wife very ill, was one day talking to Garrick in a fine
sentimental manner in praise of conjugal love and fidelity: "The
husband," said he, with amazing assurance, "who behaves unkindly to his
wife, deserves to have his house burnt over his head."--"If you think
so," replied Garrick, "I hope _your_ house is insured."

ML.--CROMWELL.

ONE being asked whom it was that he judged to be the chiefest actor in
the murder of the king, he answered in this short enigma or riddle:--

"The heart of the loaf, and the