y.--S.S.

CMLXVI.--A COAT-OF-ARMS.

A GREAT pretender to gentility
Came to a herald for his pedigree:
The herald, knowing what he was, begun
To rumble o'er his heraldry; which done,
Told him he was a gentleman of note,
And that he had a very glorious coat.
"Prithee, what is 't?" quoth he, "and take your fees."
"Sir," says the herald, "'tis two rampant trees,
One couchant; and, to give it further scope,
A ladder passant, and a pendent rope.
And, for a grace unto your blue-coat sleeves,
There is a bird i' th' crest that strangles thieves."

CMLXVII.--DR. SIMS.

A GLORIOUS bull is related, in the life of Dr. Sims, of a countryman of
his, an Irishman, for whom he had prescribed an emetic, who said with
great naivete: "My dear doctor, it is of no use your giving me an
_emetic_! I tried it twice in Dublin, and it would _not stay_ on my
stomach either time."

CMLXVIII.--MARRIAGE.

IN marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the
enemy.

CMLXIX.--BENEFIT OF COMPETITION.

POPE, when he first saw Garrick act, observed, "I am afraid that the
young man will be spoiled, for he will have no competitor!"

CMLXX.--INDUSTRY AND PERSEVERANCE.

A SPENDTHRIFT said, "Five years ago I was not worth a farthing in the
world; now see where I am through my own exertions."--"Well, where are
you?" inquired a neighbor. "Why, I now _owe more_ than a thousand
pounds!"

CMLXXI.--QUANTUM SUFF.

IN former days, when roads were bad, and wheeled vehicles almost
unknown, an old laird was returning from a supper party, with his lady
mounted behind him on horseback. On crossing the river Urr, the old lady
dropped off, but was not missed till her husband reached his door. The
party who were despatched in quest of her, arrived just in time to find
her remonstrating with the advancing tide, which trickled into her
mouth, in these words, "No anither drap; neither _het nor cauld_."

CMLXXII.--LAMB AND SHARP SAUCE.

A RETIRED cheesemonger, who hated any allusions to the business that had
enriched him, said to Charles Lamb, in course of discussion on the
Poor-Laws, "You must bear in mind, sir, that I have got rid of that sort
of stuff which you poets call the 'milk of human kindness.'" Lamb looked
at him steadily, and replied, "Yes, I am aware of that,--you turned it
all into _cheese_ several years ago!"