e been
unintentionally guilty of disrespect; my lord informed me that I ought
to have taken off my hat whenever I addressed your Majesty; but your
Majesty will please to observe, that whenever I hunt, my hat is fastened
to my wig, and my wig is fastened to my head, and I am on the back of a
very high-spirited horse, so that if anything _goes off_ we must _all go
off together_!" The king laughed heartily at this apology.

MXXVI.--SYDNEY SMITH SOPORIFIC.

A LADY complaining to Sydney Smith that she could not sleep,--"I can
furnish you," he said, "with a perfect soporific. I have published two
volumes of Sermons; take them up to bed with you. I recommended them
once to Blanco White, and before the third page--_he was fast asleep_!"

MXXVII.--EPIGRAM.

(On ----'s ponderous speeches.)

THOUGH Sir Edward has made many speeches of late,
The House would most willingly spare them;
For it finds they possess such remarkable _weight_,
That it's really a trouble to _bear them_.

MXXVIII.--GOOD AT A PINCH.

A SEVERE snow-storm in the Highlands, which lasted for several weeks,
having stopped all communication betwixt neighboring hamlets,
snuff-takers were reduced to their last pinch. Borrowing and begging
from all the neighbors within reach were resorted to, but this soon
failed, and all were alike reduced to the extremity which unwillingly
abstinent snuffers alone know. The minister of the parish was amongst
the unhappy number; the craving was so intense, that study was out of
the question. As a last resort, the beadle was despatched through the
snow, to a neighboring glen in the hope of getting a supply; but became
back as unsuccessful as he went. "What's to be dune, John?" was the
minister's pathetic inquiry. John shook his head, as much as to say that
he could not tell; but immediately thereafter started up, as if a new
idea had occurred to him. He came back in a few minutes, crying, "Hae."
The minister, too eager to be scrutinizing, took a long, deep pinch, and
then said, "Whaur did you get it?"--"_I soupit[B] the poupit_," was
John's expressive reply. The minister's accumulated superfluous Sabbath
snuff now came into good use.

[B] Swept.

MXXIX.--EPIGRAM.

(On Alderman Wood's being afraid to pledge himself even to the
principles he has always professed.)

SURE in the House he'll do but little good
Who lets "_I dare not, wait upon_ I WOOD (I would