ll trickle over me a few drops of tar, and help to decorate
me with those penal plumes in which the vanquished reasoner of the
transatlantic world does homage to the physical superiority of his
opponents.--S.S.

CMXCIV.--A MONEY-LENDER.

THE best fellow in the world, sir, to get money of; for as he sends you
half cash, half wine, why, if you can't take up his bill, you've always
poison at hand for a remedy.--D.J.

CMXCV.--A BAD MEDIUM.

A MAN, who pretended to have seen a ghost, was asked what the ghost said
to him? "How should I understand," replied the narrator, "what he said?
I am not skilled in any of the _dead_ languages."

CMXCVI.--TAKING A HINT.

THE Bishop preached: "My friends," said he,
"How sweet a thing is charity,
The choicest gem in virtue's casket!"
"It is, indeed," sighed miser B.,
"And instantly I'll go and--ask it."

CMXCVII.--SWEARING THE PEACE.

AN Irishman, swearing the peace against his three sons, thus concluded
his affidavit: "And this deponent further saith, that the only one of
his children who showed him any real filial affection was his youngest
son Larry, for he _never struck him when he was down_!"

CMXCVIII.--THE RULING PASSION.

THE death of Mr. Holland, of Drury Lane Theatre, who was the son of a
_baker_ at Chiswick, had a very great effect upon the spirits of Foote,
who had a very warm friendship for him. Being a legatee, as well as
appointed by the will of the deceased one of his bearers, he attended
the corpse to the family vault at Chiswick, and there very sincerely
paid a plentiful tribute of tears to his memory. On his return to town,
Harry Woodward asked him if he had not been paying the last compliment
to his friend Holland? "Yes, poor fellow," says Foote, almost weeping at
the same time, "I have just seen him _shoved_ into the _family oven_."

CMXCIX.--A SANITARY AIR.

THE air of France! nothing to the air of England. That goes ten times as
far,--it must, for it's ten times as thick.--D.J.

M.--GRAFTING.

VERY dry and pithy too was a legal _opinion_ given to a claimant of the
Annandale peerage, who, when pressing the employment of some obvious
forgeries, was warned, that if he persevered, nae doot he might be a
peer, but it would be a peer o' anither _tree_!

MI.--A SHORT CREED.

A SCEPTICAL man, conversing with Dr. Parr, observed that he would
believe nothin