No, my lord: but were _I_ Duke of Northumberland,
perhaps I could be."

DCCCLXXXVIII.--SUMMARY DECISION.

MR. BROUGHAM, when at the bar, opened before Lord Chief Justice
Tenterden an action for the amount of a wager laid upon the event of a
dog-fight, which, through some unwillingness of dogs or men, had not
been brought to an issue. "We, my lord," said the advocate, "were minded
that the dogs should fight."--"Then I," replied the Judge, "_am minded_
to hear no more of it:" and he called another cause.

DCCCLXXXIX.--A DISAPPOINTING SUBSCRIBER.

TO all letters soliciting "subscriptions," Lord Erskine had a regular
form of reply, namely: "Sir, I feel much honored by your application to
me, and beg to _subscribe_" (here the reader had to turn over leaf)
"Myself, _your very obedient servant_," etc.

DCCCXC.--HABEAS CORPUS ACT.

BISHOP BURNET relates a curious circumstance respecting the origin of
that important statute, the Habeas Corpus Act. "It was carried," says
he, "by an odd artifice in the House of Lords. Lord Grey and Lord Norris
were named to be the tellers. Lord Norris was not at all times attentive
to what he was doing; so a very fat lord coming in, Lord Grey counted
him for ten, as a jest at first; but seeing Lord Norris had not observed
it, he went on with this misreckoning of _ten_; so it was reported to
the House, and declared that they who were for the bill were the
majority, and by this means the bill passed."

DCCCXCI.--A RUNAWAY KNOCK.

DOUGLAS JERROLD describing a very dangerous illness from which he had
just recovered, said--"Ay, sir, it was a runaway knock at Death's door,
I can assure you."

DCCCXCII.--COMMON POLITENESS.

TWO gentlemen having a difference, one went to the other's door and
wrote "Scoundrel!" upon it. The other called upon his neighbor, and was
answered by a servant that his master was not at home. "No matter," was
the reply; "I only wished to return his visit, as he _left his name_ at
my door in the morning."

DCCCXCIII.--THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.

JEKYLL saw in Colman's chambers a squirrel in the usual round cage. "Ah!
poor devil," said Jekyll, "he's going the _Home Circuit_."

DCCCXCIV.--A SOPORIFIC.

A SPENDTHRIFT being sold up, Foote, who attended every day, bought
nothing but a pillow; on which a gentleman asked him, "What particular
use he could have for a single pillow?"--"Why," said Foote, "I do n