ecome a _man_. As an Eton boy it (perhaps) does him
good; but as a man! I thought such disgrace only attached to the army.
For, _of course_, the corporal punishment cannot be inflicted _only_ in
the Statutes.

[Illustration: NOBODY SHALL WEAR THE HAIR LONG OR IN CURLS.]

"I then find that it is '_Statutum est_,' that if any one should happen
to introduce a new and unwonted style of dress, that the Vice-Chancellor
and the Heads of the Colleges and Halls shall thereupon hold
deliberation and give their opinion; and that the Vice-Chancellor shall
then forbid the cutters-out and the tailors, making these kind of
garments (_Deinde, Vice-Cancellarius scissoribus sive sartoribus
vestiariis hujusmodi vestes conficiendi potestate interdicat_); and that
the Heads shall prohibit their scholars from wearing them; but that if
the young men, with a morbid pertinacity (_morbi pertinacia_), persist
in clothing themselves in the aforesaid garments, the Vice-Chancellor
shall, after three monitions, expel them.

"The motherly care shown by Alma Mater that her sons should not fall
into scrapes by making Guys of themselves, is here very strongly
evidenced; and I think it would be a profitable subject for inquiry, if
MR. HUME would move for a return of the number of times that the
Vice-Chancellor and the Heads of Houses have met, in accordance with the
above Statute.

"The remainder of _Tit._ XIV is taken up with the cut of the gowns, &c.,
but is as unlike a ladylike page of _Le Follet_ (which MRS. BROWN takes
in) as anything can be.

"The Statutes demanding attention in _Tit._ XV. are so numerous that I
will trouble you with them in another letter; but they are so amusing
that they will repay perusal, and your opinion upon them will not only
be highly valued by, but of the greatest use, to

"Dear _Mr. Punch_,

"Your constant reader,

"PETERLOO BROWN."

* * * * *

SONG--RIPEFORAJAIL.

RIPEFORAJAIL for an income is burning,
RIPEFORAJAIL has no taste for clod-turning,
RIPEFORAJAIL has no funds for gin-spinning,
Yet RIPEFORAJAIL has "Green" gold for the winning;
Come lend a kind ear to a betting muff's tale,
While he tells you the craft of bold RIPEFORAJAIL.

The EARL OF BAREPURSE, o'er Newmarket doth ride,
And views his colt win in the very last stride,
Long odds for his net, and the Ring for his game,
Short whist for the wild, and the dice for the tame;
But the TATTERSALL