to one whom we
fear we must call Fighting FREWEN, than a personal _rencontre_ with the
Member for Westminster. A fight with a forensic antagonist in
Westminster Hall is more formidable than a little harmless
pistol-popping at Chalk Farm; and the powder of a barrister's wig is
more dangerous to be set in agitation than the common gunpowder of
commerce.

Poor FREWEN is evidently much nettled at finding that SIR JOHN SHELLEY
won't fight, and in the desperate endeavour to stir up the unwilling
baronet, tries the old cab-driver's dodge of calling after him "No
gentleman!" We must say we cannot congratulate MR. FREWEN upon having
got the best of the matter in either spirit, taste, or argument; for
there is something more dignified in SIR JOHN SHELLEY'S request to be
"excused from answering any further letters," than in MR. FREWEN'S
coarse wind up of "Call yourself a gentleman!"

* * * * *

A NEW LACTOMETER.

A great philanthropist, and distinguished man of the world, has invented
a new Lactometer for testing the milk of human kindness. We believe it
is exceedingly simple, and consists principally of a plain sheet of
paper--not unlike, in size, a page torn out of a banker's cheque-book,
but having a Government Stamp in the corner of it. It is the size of
this stamp that determines the quantity of milk of human kindness. The
larger the stamp the greater the supply of milk. The test rarely fails,
excepting with lawyers, guardians, step-fathers, and others, whose hardy
natures are well known not to be largely imbued with the softening
lacteal properties of human kindness. The philanthropist intends taking
out a patent for his ingenious invention.

* * * * *

A GANGWAY JOKE.

MR. HAYTER, the Whipper-in, was supposed by the Members of Parliament to
be very unfortunate with his servants, for during the past session, he
was always going about trying to get a House made.

* * * * *

A RAP FOR THE CZAR.--A great deal of base gold coin is in circulation,
but the worst Sovereign that has come before the public lately is the
EMPEROR OF RUSSIA.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A BATH AT BOULOGNE.

APPALLING POSITION OF MR. AND MRS. TOMPKINS, WHO HAD A JIB HORSE WHEN
THE TIDE WAS COMING IN.]

* * * * *

FUMIGATION OF THE THAMES.

Tobacco fumes are unpleasant to the majority