u are a very spirited, gentlemanly, thoroughly English
fellow, in whom I have the utmost confidence. All that you have done
this half has been excellent. I believe it would give everybody pleasure
to see you at the head of the school, and it rests with yourself whether
you will be so or not. _Excelsior_, my good boy. By the way, I have of
course nothing to do with your amusements, but I observed you gave
MASTER CORDEN a tremendous back fall the other day. It has shaken him a
good deal, but he richly deserved it for the sneaking way he came to the
scratch.

"SIBTHORP, as you say that you consider it an honour for me to notice
you, why do you not so conduct yourself that what is certainly an honour
to you may be a pleasure to me? (SIBTHORP _burst into tears_.) There,
don't cry, you know I am never seriously angry with _you_.

"BOYS ALL,

"You may now go into your respective schools, and wait there until your
monitors announce to you that vacation has begun."

* * * * *

THE LAND SCREW STEAM COMPANY.

We believe the General Screw Steam Shipping Company is connected with
the Port of Southampton. It may not be generally known that there exists
another Screw Steam concern in connexion with that same good town. We
mean the South-Western Railway, which, particularly by its arrangements
respecting the Camp at Chobham, and the Review at Spithead, appears to
have decidedly adopted the principle of the Screw.

* * * * *

A MAN WALKS--A LADY RIDES.

A man should never object to exercise, for the gentleman is always
distinguished by his walk; but there is this excuse to be made for a
woman who takes but little exercise--that the lady is immediately known
by her carriage.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MR. PUNCH PAYS A FINAL VISIT TO THE CAMP, AND TAKES OFF
HIS HAT TO A RATHER GLORIOUS OLD RAG.]

* * * * *

FIGHTING FREWEN AND SOBER SHELLEY.

There appeared a chance a few days ago, that certain Members of
Parliament would, instead of shooting the grouse, have the more exciting
sport of shooting one another. SIR JOHN SHELLEY very properly refuses to
be drawn into either a murder or a breach of the peace; and quietly
refers MR. FREWEN'S furious correspondence to MESSRS. TYRRELL, PAINE,
and LAYTON, who are, we presume, SIR JOHN'S solicitors.

A "little quarrel" with a legal firm may be less agreeable