T ABSURD AND PROUD CUSTOM OF
WALKING IN BOOTS IN PUBLIC.]

"It is next ordered, that 'Nobody shall follow that absurd and proud
custom of walking in boots in public.' (_Insuper, ab absurdo illo et
fastuoso publice in ocreis ambulandi more, abstinere compellantur._ I
give you the very words, _Mr. Punch_, lest you should not believe me.)
Now, where on earth is the harm of my lad wearing Wellingtons? But I
suppose that every one in Oxford (I do not know the place) wears the
'Oxford Shoes,' and that this Statute has been inserted to keep up what
is, doubtless, the staple trade of the city. For, _of course_, the
Statute is observed, or they would not make the students swear to obey
it.

"'_Statutum est_' also, that 'Nobody shall wear the hair long or in
curls (_in capillitio modus est, nec concinnos, aut comam nimis
promissam alant_). Now, Sir, my son PETERLOO has been favoured by Nature
with a particularly curly head of hair. I wish to ask you, Do you think
that this misfortune, which it is evident can be from no fault of his
own, will shut him out from all the privileges of the University? It is
a momentous question for a father to make, and one which may interest
the bosom friend of the present Chancellor--I mean MR.--I beg his
pardon, DR. DISRAELI. One thing is plain: that the advertisements of 'Do
you want luxurious hair?' can be of no use in Oxford, and that
bears'-grease must be at a discount. And if my son PETERLOO should fail
to observe any of the above Statutes touching his personal appearance,
or the giving himself airs, he will, when he is a graduate, have to pay
6_s._ 8_d._ for each offence (_poena_ 6_s._ _et_ 8_d._ _plectatur,
toties quoties_), and while he is an undergraduate he will, for such
offences, have to suffer corporal punishment (_poena corporali_). Good
gracious, _Mr. Punch_, I have read that the great NEWTON was horsed when
he was a Cambridge undergraduate; but I thought that such a degrading
custom was either confined to that University, or had passed away with
the dark ages, and oil-lamps, and Protection, and all that sort of
thing. Does not Oxford--the Mother of Science, and (for what I know) the
Aunt of Literature, and the Grandmother of the Arts--does not Oxford, I
repeat, keep up with the progressive enlightenment of the age? I almost
repent that I have entered PETERLOO there (at St. Vitus' College), and I
tremble to think of the effect that corporal punishment, will have on
him when he is b