h to the officer--liner or guard--
Who with CAMBRIDGE and SEATON has laboured so hard.
Here's a health to his men, whose good looks and good will
Did such excellent credit to messman and drill.

The object was good, and the object is gained,
Right sound is the teaching the troops have obtained;
And we'll mark that M.P. for a short-sighted scamp
Who grudges one mil for the Chobhamite Camp.

[Footnote 3:] A Colonnade is that which consists of columns. The
British Army consists thereof. Therefore the British Army is a
Colonnade.--WALKER.

* * * * *

NUMBER ONE AND NUMBER TWO.--The first time a woman marries it is
generally to please another; but the second time it is invariably to
please herself.

* * * * *

THE INQUISITION AT MALTA.

Here is a pretty dish that was to have been set before the QUEEN:--

"Whosoever, during the performance of the sacred functions or
ceremonies of the Church of the country, the Roman Catholic
Apostolic Church, the maintenance and protection of which, in its
present position, are secured by law, and guaranteed by the British
Crown, shall disturb the same with violence or with intent to
profane, whether within or without places appointed for public
worship, shall be punished with imprisonment, from seven months to
two years."

According to MR. I. BUTT this passage is contained in the 50th Clause of
the amended Maltese Criminal Code which has been coolly sent to this
country for the sanction of HER MAJESTY.

No doubt a person who should wantonly interrupt a congregation of
Mormonites, or even of dancing Dervishes, engaged in their devotions,
would deserve to be punished; of course, therefore, there is no
complaining of a law which avenges interference with Roman Catholic
rites and ceremonies--those rites and ceremonies not going quite so far
as the rite of cremation and the ceremony of an _auto-da-fe_.

It is also indubitable that the adherents of the Romish Church have a
perfect right to call their persuasion Catholic and Apostolic, or
anything else they please, and hold that assertion against all comers,
by all means: except, we will say, by means of fire and sword.

But to propose the recognition of the Roman Catholic Church, as
Apostolical, to the QUEEN OF ENGLAND, is--without reference to
polemics--richly absurd: since HER MAJESTY holds her royal seat on the
very condi