that cow, my lad, stop that cow." "I am no constable, Sir." "Turn
her out then." "She is right side out now, Sir." "Well, speak to her
then." The boy took off his hat, and very handsomely addressed the cow,
with "Your servant, madam." The drover rode into the yard, and drove the
cow out himself.

HIGH FAMILY.

A PERSON was boasting that he was sprung from a high family in Ireland.
"Yes," said a bystander, "I have seen some of the same family so high
that their feet could not touch the ground."

SETTLING.

"MR. JENKINS, will it suit you to settle that old account of yours?"

"No, Sir, you are mistaken in the man, I am not one of the old
_settlers_."

CAUSE OF REGRET.

A LAD, standing by while his father lost a large sum at play, burst into
tears. On being asked the cause, "O Sir," answered he, "I have read that
Alexander wept because his father Philip gained so many conquests that
he would leave him _nothing to gain_; I on the contrary weep for fear
that you will leave me _nothing to lose_."

THE PROPER PERSON.

A GENTLEMAN passing through Clement's Inn, and receiving abuse from some
impudent clerks, was advised to complain to the Principal, which he did
thus: "I have been abused here, by some of the _rascals_ of this inn,
and I come to acquaint you of it, as I understand you are the
_Principal_."

AN AWKWARD SITUATION.

LORD LYTTLETON asked a clergyman the use of his pulpit for a young
divine he had brought down with him. "I really know not," said the
parson, "how to refuse your Lordship; but if the gentleman preach better
than I, my congregation will be dissatisfied with me afterwards; and if
he preach worse, he is not fit to preach at all."

CALL AGAIN TO-MORROW.

A HERETIC in medicine being indisposed, his physician happened to call.
Being told that the doctor was below, he said, "Tell him to call another
time; I am unwell, and can't see him now."

JOKE FROM HARPER'S DRAWER.

WHO is not carried back to good old times as he reads this sketch of
Connecticut goin' to meetin' fifty years ago? It is a genuine story
contributed to the Drawer:

"In the early part of the ministry of Rev. Jehu C----k, who preached
many years in one of the pleasant towns in the western part of
Connecticut, it was the custom of many of the good ladies from the
distant parts of his parish to bring with them food, which they ate at
noon; or as they used to say, 'between