rs ago, while a clergyman on the coast of Cornwall was in the
midst of his sermon, the alarm was given, _A wreck! a wreck!_ The
congregation, eager for their prey, were immediately making off, when
the parson solemnly entreated them to hear only five words more. This
arrested their attention until the preacher, throwing off his
canonicals, descended from the pulpit, exclaiming, "Now, let's all start
fair!"

DEGREES OF COMPARISON.

AN Irishman meeting his friend, said, "I've just met our old
acquaintance Patrick, and he's grown so thin, I could hardly know him.
You are thin, and I am thin; but he is _thinner than both of us put
together_."

A MISUNDERSTANDING.

A POOR curate for his Sunday dinner sent his servant to a chandler's
shop, kept by one Paul, for bacon and eggs on credit. This being
refused, the damsel, as she had nothing to cook, thought she might as
well go to church, and entered as her master, in the midst of his
discourse, referring to the apostle, repeated, "What says Paul?" The
good woman, supposing the question addressed to her, answered, "Paul
says, Sir, that he'll give you no more trust till you pay your old
score."

A STORY TELLER.

A PERSON of this description, seated with his pot companions, was in the
midst of one of his best stories, when he was suddenly called away to go
on board of a vessel, in which he was to sail for Jamaica. Returning in
about a twelvemonth, he resumed his old seat, among his cronies. "Well,
gentlemen," proceeded he, "as I was saying----"

A RETORT.

AN Irish Peer, who sports a ferocious pair of whiskers, meeting a
celebrated barrister, the latter asked, "When do you mean to put your
_whiskers_ on the _peace establishment_?" His lordship answered, "When
you put your _tongue_ on the _civil list_."

A LOUD LETTER.

"WHAT are you writing such a big hand for, Pat?" "Why, you see my
grandmother's dafe, and I'm writing a loud letter to her."

GO THE WHOLE.

A PEASANT, being at confession, accused himself of having stolen some
hay. The father-confessor asked him how many bundles he had taken from
the stack: "That is of no consequence," replied the peasant; "you may
set it down a wagon-load; for my wife and I are going to fetch the
remainder soon."

SHARP BOY.

A MAN driving a number of cattle to Boston, one of his cows went into a
barn-yard, where there stood a young lad. The drover calls to the boy,
"Stop