efforts could never procure. Beholding
me rowing with laborious toil, the breath of Thy divine operations
turned in my favor, and carried me full sail over this sea of
affliction.

I had often spoken to my confessor about the great anxiety it gave me
to find I could not meditate, nor exert my imagination in order to
pray. Subjects of prayer which were too extensive were useless to me.
Those which were short and pithy suited me better.

At length, God permitted a very religious person, of the order of St.
Francis, to pass by my father's dwelling. He had intended going another
way that was shorter, but a secret power changed his design. He saw
there was something for him to do, and imagined that God had called him
for the conversion of a man of some distinction in that country. His
labors there proved fruitless. It was the conquest of my soul which was
designed. As soon as he arrived he came to see my father who rejoiced
at his coming. At this time I was about to be delivered of my second
son, and my father was dangerously ill, expected to die. For some time
they concealed his sickness from me. An indiscreet person abruptly told
me. Instantly I arose, weak as I was, and went to see him. A dangerous
illness came upon me. My father was recovered, but not entirely, enough
to give me new marks of his affection. I told him of the strong desire
I had to love God, and my great sorrow at not being able to do it
fully. He thought he could not give me a more solid indication of his
love than in procuring me an acquaintance with this worthy man. He told
me what he knew of him, and urged me to go and see him.

At first I made a difficulty of doing it, being intent on observing the
rules of the strictest prudence. However, my father's repeated requests
had with me the weight of a positive command. I thought I could not do
that amiss, which I only did in obedience to him. I took a kinswoman
with me. At first he seemed a little confused; for he was reserved
toward women. Being newly come out of a five years' solitude, he was
surprised that I was the first to address him. He spoke not a word for
some time. I knew not to what attribute his silence. I did not hesitate
to speak to him, and to tell him a few words, my difficulties about
prayer. Presently he replied, "It is, madame, because you seek without
what you have within. Accustom yourself to seek God in your heart, and
you will there find Him."

Having said these words, he left me