umble myself. All this did not win
their favor. When they were in a rage, although I could not find that I
had given them any occasion, yet I did not fail to beg their pardon,
even from the girl of whom I have spoken. I had a good deal of pain to
surmount myself, as to the last. She became the more insolent for it;
reproaching me with things which ought to have made her blush and have
covered her with shame. As she saw that I contradicted and resisted her
no more in anything, she proceeded to treat me worse. And when I asked
her pardon she triumphed, saying, "I knew very well I was in the
right." Her arrogance rose to the height that I would not have treated
the meanest slave.

One day, as she was dressing me, she pulled me roughly, and spoke to me
insolently. I said, "It is not my account that I am willing to answer
you, for you give me no pain, but lest you should act thus before
persons to whom it would give offence. Moreover, as I am your mistress,
God is assuredly offended with you." She left me that moment, and ran
like a mad woman to meet my husband telling him she would stay no
longer, I treated her so ill, that I hated her for the care she took of
him in his continual indispositions, wanting her not to do any service
for him. My husband was very hasty, so he took fire at these words. I
finished dressing alone. Since she had left me I dared not call another
girl; she would not suffer another girl to come near me. I saw my
husband coming like a lion, he was never in such a rage as this. I
thought he was going to strike me; I awaited the blow with
tranquillity; he threatened with his up-lifted crutch; I thought he was
going to knock me down. Holding myself closely united to God, I beheld
it without pain. He did not strike me for he had presence of mind
enough to see what indignity it would be. In his rage he threw it at
me. It fell near me, but it did not touch me. He then discharged
himself in language as if I had been a street beggar, or the most
infamous of creatures. I kept profound silence, being recollected in
the Lord.

The girl in the meantime came in. At the sight of her his rage
redoubled. I kept near to God, as a victim disposed to suffer whatever
He would permit. My husband ordered me to beg her pardon, which I
readily did, and thereby appeased him. I went into my closet, where I
no sooner was, than my divine Director impelled me to make this girl a
present, to recompense her for the cross which she