ho was in a white heat of anger.
Carefully suppressing the explosion, however, the boss started in with
ominous and icy words:

"Mr. Blank, I am not going to criticize you for what you have written.
On the other hand, I am profoundly sorry for you. I have watched your
work recently, and it is my opinion, reached after calm and
dispassionate observation, that you are mentally unbalanced. You are
insane. Your mind is a wreck. Your friends should take you in hand. The
very kindest suggestion I can make is that you visit an alienist and
place yourself under treatment. So far you have shown no sign of
violence, but what the future holds for you no one can tell. I say this
in all kindness and frankness. You are discharged."

The reporter walked out of the office and wandered up to Bellevue
Hospital. He visited the insane pavilion, and told the resident surgeon
that there was a suspicion that he was not all right mentally and asked
to be examined. The doctor put him through the regular routine and then
said,

"Right as a top."

"Sure?" asked the reporter. "Will you give me a certificate to that
effect?" The doctor said he would and did. Clutching the certificate
tightly in his hand the reporter entered the office an hour later,
walked up to the city editor, handed it to him silently, and then
blurted out,

"Now you go get one."

EDUCATION

Along in the sixties Pat Casey pushed a wheelbarrow across the plains
from St. Joseph, Mo., to Georgetown, Colo., and shortly after that he
"struck it rich"; in fact, he was credited with having more wealth than
any one else in Colorado. A man of great shrewdness and ability, he was
exceedingly sensitive over his inability to read or write. One day an
old-timer met him with:

"How are you getting along, Pat?"

"Go 'way from me now," said Pat genially, "me head's bustin' wid
business. It takes two lid-pincils a day to do me wurruk."

A catalog of farming implements sent out by the manufacturer finally
found its way to a distant mountain village where it was evidently
welcomed with interest. The firm received a carefully written, if
somewhat clumsily expressed letter from a southern "cracker" asking
further particulars about one of the listed articles.

To this, in the usual course of business, was sent a type-written
answer. Almost by return mail came a reply:

"You fellows need not think you are so all-fired smart, and you need not
print your letters to me. I can r