War.

EVIDENCE

From a crowd of rah-rah college boys celebrating a crew victory, a
policeman had managed to extract two prisoners.

"What is the charge against these young men?" asked the magistrate
before whom they were arraigned.

"Disturbin' the peace, yer honor," said the policeman. "They were givin'
their college yells in the street an' makin' trouble generally."

"What is your name?" the judge asked one of the prisoners.

"Ro-ro-robert Ro-ro-rollins," stuttered the youth.

"I asked for your name, sir, not the evidence."

Maud Muller, on a summer night,
Turned down the only parlor light.

The judge, beside her, whispered things
Of wedding bells and diamond rings.

He spoke his love in burning phrase,
And acted foolish forty ways.

When he had gone Maud gave a laugh
And then turned off the dictagraph.

--_Milwaukee Sentinel_.

One day a hostess asked a well known Parisian judge: "Your Honor, which
do you prefer, Burgundy or Bordeaux?"

"Madame, that is a case in which I have so much pleasure in taking the
evidence that I always postpone judgment," was the wily jurist's reply.

_See also_ Courts; Witnesses.

EXAMINATIONS

An instructor in a church school where much attention was paid to sacred
history, dwelt particularly on the phrase "And Enoch was not, for God
took him." So many times was this repeated in connection with the death
of Enoch that he thought even the dullest pupil would answer correctly
when asked in examination: State in the exact language of the Bible what
is said of Enoch's death.

But this was the answer he got:

"Enoch was not what God took him for."

A member of the faculty of the University of Wisconsin tells of some
amusing replies made by a pupil undergoing an examination in English.
The candidate had been instructed to write out examples of the
indicative, the subjunctive, the potential and the exclamatory moods.
His efforts resulted as follows:

"I am endeavoring to pass an English examination. If I answer twenty
questions I shall pass. If I answer twelve questions I may pass. God
help me!"

The following selection of mistakes in examinations may convince almost
any one that there are some peaks of ignorance which he has yet to
climb:

Magna Charta said that the King had no right to bring soldiers into a
lady's house and tell her to mind them.

Panama is a town of Colombo, where they are trying to make an isthmus.