om India. His
enemies might perhaps have said before (though I never did so) that he
talked rather too much; but now he has _occasional flashes of silence,
that make his conversation perfectly delightful_!"

MCCLXVII.--LOST AND FOUND.

THE ferryman, whilst plying over a water which was only slightly
agitated, was asked by a timid lady in his boat, whether any persons
were ever lost in that river. "O no," said he, "we always _finds 'em
agin_ the next day."

MCCLXVIII.--A MILITARY AXIOM.

AN old soldier having been brought up to vote at an election at the
expense of one of the candidates, voted for his opponent, and when
reproached for his conduct, replied, "Always _quarter_ upon the enemy,
my lads; always _quarter_ upon the enemy."

MCCLXIX.--A FORCIBLE ARGUMENT.

THAT erudite Cantab, Bishop Burnett, preaching before Charles II., being
much warmed with his subject, uttered some religious truth with great
vehemence, and at the same time, striking his fist on the desk with
great violence, cried out, "Who dare deny this?"--"Faith," said the
king, in a tone more _piano_ than that of the orator, "nobody that is
within the reach of _that fist of yours_."

MCCLXX.--NOT TO BE DONE BROWN.

DR. THOMAS BROWN courted a lady for many years, but unsuccessfully,
during which time it had been his custom to drink the lady's health
before that of any other; but being observed one evening to omit it, a
gentleman reminded him of it, and said, "Come, doctor, drink the lady,
your toast." The doctor replied, "I have toasted her many years, and I
cannot make her _Brown_, so I'll toast her no longer."

MCCLXXI.--AN ODD NOTION.

A LADY the other day meeting a girl who had lately left her service,
inquired, "Well, Mary, where do you live now?"--"Please, ma'am, I don't
_live nowhere_ now," rejoined the girl; "_I am married_!"

MCCLXXII.--A SURE TAKE.

AN old sportsman, who, at the age of eighty-three, was met by a friend
riding very fast, and was asked what he was in pursuit of? "Why, sir,"
replied the other, "I am riding _after my eighty-fourth year_."

MCCLXXIII.--MR. TIERNEY'S HUMOR.

MR. TIERNEY, when alluding to the difficulty the Foxites and Pittites
had in passing over to join each other in attacking the Addington
Ministry (forgetting at the moment how easily he had himself overcome a
like difficulty in joining that Ministry), alluded to the puzzle of the