F YOU PLEASE."]

* * * * *

THE RETURN TO DUTY.

BY A VERY MILD CABMAN.

Recalcitration, WILLIAM, cease,
JAMES, we'll return to work in peace.
Alas! the struggle to prolong
Were useless--would be, therefore, wrong.

The Legislature and the Press,
Whom Heaven--although they've wronged us--bless!
Have triumphed by superior force:
Submission now should be our course.

And though defeated, after all,
Our loss, in fact, will be but small;
A slight reduction of our fare,
Which our proprietors will bear.

Employment will increase, besides;
Our friends will take more frequent rides,
And that will amply compensate
For payment at a lower rate.

Whilst o'er our tongue respect presides,
And courtesy our manner guides,
Of temperance let us own the sway,
And that of cleanliness obey.

Of insult or extortion, none
In terror, then, our cabs will shun;
Perhaps ev'n ladies then will dare
To constitute themselves our fare.

And oh, divesting our pursuit
Of altercation and dispute,
How much more pleasantly shall we
Discuss our toast, and sip our tea!

* * * * *

ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

However much the Whigs may be found fault with for their acts of
omission, they are perfectly clear about their acts of Commission, for
we believe it is indisputable that they have passed more acts that have
saddled the country with Commissions than any other Government.

* * * * *

THE TAILOR ASSASSIN.

An unhappy French tailor has been charged, on the evidence of our old
friend JOINVILLE, with a conspiracy to assassinate our old enemy LOUIS
NAPOLEON. The "conspiracy" looks very like an attempt on our gracious
Queen, for the unhappy wretch of a tailor wanted HER MAJESTY'S head on
twenty pieces of gold coin, and his design was directed far more upon
English sovereigns than upon French Napoleons. Twenty pounds was the
price to be charged by the French tailor for making his country free and
happy; but, considering that the trade of patriotism is rather at a low
ebb just now, we cannot help thinking that the unfortunate humbug placed
his services at too high a figure.

Whether the accused really contemplated the murder of LOUIS NAPOLEON is
doubtful, though MR. BODKIN was engaged to argue that the tailor
designed the _quietus_ of the Emperor with, perhaps, "a bare Bodkin,"
which, being